Mijn eerste thought ......Het weer is okay en een goeie vriend op bezoek, my baby my baby, what more do you want? Sunshine galore....it's such a great day! October 2010: My new cd ALL OF ME is out,yeah! Wednesday, February 22, 2023 It will be one year since Russia invaded Ukraine on February 24, 2022 and the war is still going on; so many people killed, so many people wounded, so many people who lost all their wordly possessions, so many people who had to flee, so many people in devastation and misery...it is heartbreaking. My heart goes out to the people of Ukraine. Two weeks ago there was a terrible earthquake in Turkey and Syria, more than 40.000 people lost their lifes and thousands of people are wounded. whole cities in ashes and rubble. It is such a disaster, so many people in utter despair. To make things worst another earthquake hit the same area this past Monday.... My heart goes out to all the people who are affected by this disaster. God bless them. Thursday, February 2, 2023 It has been such a long time since I wrote something here. First off, we're fine, thank goodness! Sadly the war in Ukraine is still happening, Russia continues to terrorize and send bombs down on ordinary people, destroying their houses, the infrastructure, electricity...etcetera... the horror continues and so many people have been killed. It is terrible! What else can you say about it? War is a disgrace for humanity! I hope and pray the war there will soon come to an end and Putin and his gang will be brought to Justice! Monday, July 4th, 2022 Happy 4th of July, America! A poem of mine: Ephemeral Happiness is but a moment in life, it’s not to be measured in time and space but to behold, I treasure within my soul the words you spoke after the moment was old. June 1, 2022 Yesterday, May 31, was the birthday of my beloved first husband and friend Lee Bridges who sadly passed away on February 17, 2005. His son, Jonathan, was so thoughtful and kind to send me a poem Lee wrote for me entitled MARIETTE when I was away singing in The Inter-Continental Hotel in Tehran. It is indeed beautiful! Thank you, Jonathan! Monday, June 6, 2022 Came across this poem of mine, written many years ago: The Eternal Question What delight the soul that exists merely to be. What everlasting happiness never to wonder why what is this and why me? What happiness a child’s voice, singing a song you once sang when yourself still young, unencumbered, not yet trampled, cast down by the worldly, the mighty, the strong. So wrong. But, soul, not for this world, in tears, perpetually throwing questions up to stars and sky Oh what blessing simply to exist never wondering why? Tuesday, May 31, 2022 The war in Ukraine is still going on, more than three months already! Lots of victims, destruction and horror! The world is also suffering because Putin is blocking grain transport from Ukraine; it is a total disgrace that one man who wants more power and invaded a neighboring country is allowed to create such havoc! The devastation in Ukraine gets worse each day and although Europe and the United States and England are sending more and heavier weapons the battle is far from over! Ukraine has to win, it has got to win this war! SLAVA UKRAINI! Hereunder a Dutch poem of my hand, written when I was a teenager but very applicable to the current situation in our poor brave world: Het wereld toneel Tegen een achtergrond van geweeklaag en politiek geklets is er nog niets veranderd, veel te veel gezwets. Ego’s groot en zwaar beladen met verhalen over eigen grootheid in vroeger jaren. Tijd en plaats bestaan niet meer, kom tot elkaar of val dood, over en weer. Ik zou niet willen meedoen in dit grote schouwtoneel maar ik leef ook zoveel ik kan en ieder speelt zijn rol en krijgt zijn deel. GOD BLESS THE BRAVE UKRAINIAN PEOPLE AND BRING ABOUT PEACE, PLEASE! Sunday, May 1, 2022 Today is The International Day of Workers! Unfortunately the war in Ukraine is still going on. So many innocent people have been murdered and are being killed day in day out by the Russian agression, warcrimes have been committed, it is awful! A total disgrace! Putin is a warcriminal, a terrible dictator! Thank God Europe stands united to help the people of Ukraine, with medical supplies, arms and whatever else they need. President Zelensky is a hero, day and night fighting for his country, like all those brave Ukrainian soldiers. Western Democracies have united in their sanctions on Russia and hopefully it will help to stop this insane senseless killing! God help Ukraine! Please God, bring peace! Bring Peace to Ukraine! Amen Sunday, April 10,2022 Positive Confirmation Copyright by Stella Jansen A thousand wars could not eradicate or prevent Love, that boundless winner, our true and only Master in this ongoing Event. Friday, March 4, 2022 WAR IN EUROPE! A week ago Poetin, president of Russia invaded Ukraine and since then daily bombing that country, already several cities are in Russian hands. More than one million people are fleeing Ukraine! Devastation, destruction! Poetin wants to put Ukraine under his control! It is insane! And so scary! Those poor people there! The president, Zylensky is very brave and courageous, the people in Ukraine are resilient, they keep fighting! Lots of men living abroad are going back to help fight for their country! GOD BLESS THE PEOPLE OF UKRAINE! PEACE PEACE PEACE NOW, PLEASE! Tuesday, January 11, 2022 A whole new year! Yeah! Hope for improvement all around! Feeling good, grateful for all the good in my life! Cheerio! Wednesday, December 15, 2021 The corona virus is not on the way out yet; a new variant which popped up in South Africa, is making a tour around the world and the infections go at enormous speed. Partly lockdowns are in place again and people, me included, begin to wonder when, if ever, we'll be free of this pandemic! yesterday I received my boostershot, it will be effective in two weeks and then I can get it listed on my QR-Code. Anyway, like the brave soldiers we are, we carry on! Saturday, December 11, 2021 It is so nice with the Christmas Tree standing and all the christmas objects around in my livingroom. Owen was here and we celebrated an early christmas with exchanging gifts. Wonderful! This Tuesday I will receive my boostervaccination against covid-19! Yeah! Feeling rather happy and the sun is shining full force! Life is grand! Vrijdag 26 november 2021 Nee, het gaat totaal niet goed met de besmettingscijfers van het covid-19 virus hier in Nederland. Vanavond alweer de zoveelste persconferentie van het incompetente duo Rutte-De Jonge die voortdurend achter de feiten blijven aan hobbelen! Ziekenhuizen kunnen de druk niet meer aan en nu worden zelfs hersenoperaties, hartoperaties, tumoroperaties en andere noodzakelijke ingrepen in de wacht gezet omdat de ongevaccineerden massaal op IC's terechtkomen! Boosterprikken zijn in landen om ons heen al enkele maanden bezig en hier is vorige week pas begonnen met de alleroudste mensen een boosterprik te geven. I give up! But to end on a brighter note: My son Owen is coming over for a visit soon and that is wonderful! We are all healthy and in excellent shape so...all is okidokie! Hurrah! Monday, November 8, 2021 It is not going so good with the infection-rate of covid-19 in our country unfortunately. My family and I are fine, thank goodness and I am making progress with my novel so...all is well so far. Had a nice week with a friend from Stockholm, Kristina! We saw the National Ballet in Mata Hari wich was wonderful. We also took a canal boatride which was a blast and we dined and wined. It was nice to see her again after we met when I was on holiday this September in Ibiza, staying in the Ses Figueres, Talamanca. Seems a long time ago already now. Time keeps moving along...naturally. Climate Conference is going on as we speak in Glasgow, Scotland. Hopefully it will be a success because our Mother Earth is in peril and it is now or never to bring down the warming up below 1.5% Stay Safe, Stay Kind, Stay Positive! Donderdag 19 augustus 2021 De Taliban zijn opnieuw, na 20 jaar, aan de macht in Afghanistan, wat een verschrikking! Veel landen, waaronder Nederland, proberen uit alle macht mensen te evacueren maar dat wordt van alle kanten bemoeilijkt; het is vreselijk! M'n hart gaat uit naar de mensen die daar nog zitten en dolgraag weg willen uit dat land. God bless them please! Tuesday, August 3, 2021 We are going very good with medals on the Olympic Games in Tokyo, yeah! Above all I want to mention our Sifan Hassan. She is an incredible athlete! She won the 5000m race yesterday and in the morning she won the qualification for the 1500m even though she fell because the atlete in front of her stumbled. She is from another order, a fine and very remarkable woman: SIFAN HASSAN! Monday, July 26, 2021 Pajaros Muertos by Stella Jansen Un dia el me paraba en la calle, me decía: '¿Puedo ofrecerte un cafecito?', dandome su mejor sonrisa. Vi su cara y algo muy suave y angelical en sus ojos profundos. Yo respondía: 'Prefiero una margarita.' Bebimos y platicamos, es decir, yo hablaba y el me escuchaba, por horas, con gran atención y una luz clara en sus ojos profundos. Despues un tiempo en que no podriamos estar juntos, el venía y en sus manos me ofrecía un pajaro muerto. Yo gritaba: 'Hombre! ¿Por que me traes este pajaro muerto?' El sonría, un poco triste y no decía nada. El tiempo pasó y un dia el regresaba y otra vez me ofrecía un pajaro muerto. Yo gritaba todavía mas: '¿Por que me das este pajaro muerto?' El sonría con sombras en sus ojos profundos. El tiempo pasó y cada año me ofrecía un pajaro muerto, hasta, que yo tenía mi armario lleno de pajaros muertos. Despues ocho años y muchos pajaros muertos en mi armario el ya no me buscaba. Nunca le vi, ni recibí una palabra de el. Lloraba porque le gustaba mucho, enamorandome cada dia mas con el, y olvidando los pajaros muertos en mi armario. Cuando mi pelo era blanco y mis huesos frios pensaba en este hombre a quien amaba por tantos años y me preguntaba: '¿donde fue y para que me abanonaba tan de repente?' La puerta de mi armario se abría y miles pajaros volaban, saliendo por la ventana abierta y de repente mi amor de tantos años entraba en mi casa, gris y viejito pero sonriendo y con una luz muy clara en sus ojos profundos. Sin hablar me abrazaba y besaba mi boca, tremblando me decía: 'Asi lo dejamos. Vrijdag, 16 juli 2021 Op dinsdag 6 juli j.l. werd misdaadjournalist en helper van slachtoffers en nabestaanden van misdrijven Peter R. De Vries beschoten in de Lange Leidsedwarsstraat in Amsterdam toen hij onderweg was naar de garage waar zijn auto stond na zijn bijdrage aan het RTL4 programma Boulevard. Vijf schoten werden gelost en Peter viel neer, zwaargewond. De schurk en stuk verdriet dat de aanslag op hem pleegde en zijn mededader werden binnen een uur opgepakt door de politie op de A4 nabij Amsterdam. Anderhalve week vocht Peter R. voor zijn leven in het UMC ziekenhuis in Amsterdam maar gister verloor hij die strijd en is hij in het bijzijn van zijn kinderen en partner overleden, 64 jaar oud. Dit droevige tragische nieuws is ingeslagen als een bom in het hele land. Dat deze moedige onverschrokken man, de steun en toeverlaat van ontredderde slachtoffers en nabestaanden, die gerechtsdwalingen aan het licht bracht en onschuldigen hun vrijheid terug kon geven, uit het leven werd gerukt en werd vermoord door nietsontziende debielen die gerecruteerd werden met de belofte van een zak geld is verschrikkelijk! Rust zacht, lieve moedige strijder tegen onrecht, Peter R. de Vries. Saturday, July 3, 2021 My poem for you, reader, today: Another beginning Far away you were called to be of other matter, where only the good can go. Love universal, lasting forever, bright stars, fresh snow. Wednesday, June 2, 2021 Had my birthday on the 28th of May and my second vaccination with Pfizer on May 29th! I am all set, ready to go! Yeah! On my birthday the nice sunny warm summer weather started, it is wonderful! Friday, May 7, 2021 Bamboozled copyright by Stella Jansen All around me I feel beset, I’d like to be strong, brave, plucky but it’s quite a bit to ask. A star blows to bits, the sun stands alone, the wind is a hurricane; where does it all come from? The wheel turns too fast, the skies are too dark, too little laughter, fear breaks the heart of lamentation and charge. Donderdag, 18 maart 2021 De Verkiezing zijn geweest, er wordt nog geteld maar veel zal dat niet meer uitmaken. Onbegrijpelijk dat de VVD opnieuw de grootste partij is en we dus weer vier jaar opgescheept zitten met Mark Rutte als MP! Gelukkig heeft D66 fors gewonnen en is de tweede partij geworden maar zeer teleurstellend dat de linkse partijen met uitzondering van de Partij voor de Dieren, fors verloren hebben. Wat een waardeloze verkiezings uitslag! Wel mooi dat de Europese Partij VOLT met 3 of 4 zetels in de Kamer gaan komen. Maar ik ben erg teleurgesteld dat Jesse Klaver van GroenLinks en Lilliane Marijnissen van de SP zoveel zetels verloren hebben. Enfin, het is zoals het is. Vol goede moed: VOORTWAARTS! Friday, March 12, 2021 We are still in corona-virus-time, however, vaccinations are moving along and, if all goes well, we will be in a much better place this summer hopefully. And now a poem of mine: Hindsight Of all the men I’ve left I still love you the best. Though I’ve hated you at times so much I was afraid of such fierce emotion, it’s you I think of in my deepest solitude, you who fill my heart and soul with devotion. Now that I feel life falling through my fingers like the white beach-sand, I will treasure the good moments with you, the passionate, pure, unconditional love that still lingers. I was your woman, you were my man and we walked together for many a day. Published in Poems of the world, Vol.2, No. 2, Winter 1997/1998 Palatine, Illinois, USA. Tuesday, February 16, 2021 Ephemeral Happiness is but a moment in life, it’s not to be measured in time and space but to behold, I treasure within my soul the words you spoke after the moment was old. copyright Stella Jansen, registered by The Library Of Congress, Washington D.C., USA. Monday, February 15, 2021 We had a whole week of beautiful winter weather with a lot of snow and ice; people were skating everywhere, it was wonderful! Today the snow is melting, temperatures are on the rise. This winter spell is over and who knows whether or not there will be another wintertime before Spring sets in. Anyway, it was nice while it lasted. January 5, 2021 HAPPY NEW YEAR! May we get rid of this damn covid-19 virus once and for all! The vaccins are being put to use all over, however, Holland is the last country in all of Europe to start vaccination! Veel geklungel door de regering en vooral door minister Hugo de Jonge die steeds foute en te late beslisstingen neemt. Er is vandaag een debat gaande en de haren rijzen je te berge, zoveel geknoei en gepruts en tijdverlies! Anyway, they will start vaccinating tomorrow, the Pfizer vaccin is lying in store already more than a week! We had a nice Christmas, my youngest son and I. Best wishes to all! Friday, November 27, 2020 I have the book of President Barack Obama, A Promised Land! Yeah! It is a big book, many pages but boy can he write! It grabs you right from the start! He is in my humble opinion one of the very best presidents the United States Of America ever had! A peach of a guy, I am in love with him, have been from the moment he burst on the scene, he is so charismatic! Great man! Sunday, November 8, 2020 JOE BIDEN IS THE PRESIDENT ELECT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! YEAH! VICE-PRESIDENT ELECT IS KAMALA HARRIS! Wonderful! I am so happy! I am so relieved! After four dark years with this horrible Trump man, a disaster for America and the world, decency will be restored. I am elated! Yes! Yes! Yes! JOE BIDEN WILL BE THE 46TH PRESIDENT OF THE USA! Tuesday, October 27, 2020 It is a very strange year with this covid-19 virus all over the planet! Hopefully a good working and save vaccin will become available very soon. Fingers crossed! Meanwhile I am trying to keep myself occupied with writing, reading, chatting with friends, video-calls with my son Owen in Ibiza. Justin and I watched Wie Is De Mol again like we have been doing for years and it was once again so much fun! Going to visit my sister this afternoon. My best to you, dear reader! Ciao! Stay safe! xxx Sunday, September 6, 2020 I Am Copyright by Stella Jansen After all is said and done just close your eyes and rest your head in the warm, vitalizing, healthy rays of the sun and all that is in universe will flow through you, purifies your soul, strengthens your body, enlightens your spirit. You are one with nature, one with yourself and you are one with God. Published in The Pegasus Review, Summer 1998, Henderson, Maryland, USA Tuesday, July 21, 2020 The novel I have been working on for the past months is finished and I published it on www.amazon.com It is an acomplishment and I am happy with it. Miss my man, my Roger, the longing for him, the loss...the pain, it doesn't get easier with the passing of time. It is a misconception to think that time will ease the pain, it doesn't...the only thing it does is that it makes you realize how fragile our lifes are. Anway, am pleased with my book, DE BEPROEVING is the title and it deals with losing a loved one while in the midst of the corona crisis. Reports are coming out that several laboratories are close to delivering the right vaccin, lets hope so. That is what the whole world is waiting for! I started a new novel, in English this time, worktitel is: Solana, Eisa and Cibelle. Yes, it is about three women. Lets see where my fantasy will take me with this. Stay well, be strong, stay kind! Cheers! Thursday, June 18, 2020 Vera Lynn, the soldiers sweetheart, died today, 103 years old. Her song We'll Meet Again is an all time favorite of mine. Rest in peace, dear Dame Very Lynn! Thursday, June 4, 2020 A lot has happened! I am a year older, my birthday was on the 28th of May and it was nice that my son Justin is here with me and my sister and my nephew came by to visit. A lot of well wishes from my sister and brother-in-law in France and other relatives and good friends as well. My son Owen in Ibiza facetimed with me and I also had a videochat with Davíd, a good friend in Ibiza. It was lovely weather and a splendid day. The lockdown has been eased somewhat and the virus infections are diminishing daily which is good news. However, we are not out of the woods yet and until a vaccin is available social distancing stays in place. A lot of unrest in America which spread to cities all over the world. It was caused by the brutal killing of an unarmed man, George Floyd, in Minneapolis, capital of the state Minnesota, on the 25th of May. Bystanders filmed what was done to this poor man and put on internet which went viral and sent an outrage throughout the world. Racism and discrimination does not only happen in America where police brutality is institutionalized and never adequately addressed. In many countries including my own discrimination and racism also occurs I am sad to say, However, in America black young men are constantly in danger of being savagely beaten or even killed by racist police officers. Demonstrations turned ugly in over 200 cities in all 50 states. President Trump is making things worse by using forceful unnessary hard words and even threatening to sent in the militairy and vicious dogs. In Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Groningen and Den Haag thousands of people show up to demonstrate, so much so that the meter and half distancing rule is not possible. The same happens in a lot of other cities in Europe and other parts of the world. The violence in America contiunes, people keep showing up to protest ignoring the curfew lots of gouvernors have issued. There is so much anger and frustration as this is the senseless killing of yet another unarmed black man in a long list. Blacks are hit the hardest by the corona crisis, lots of them have lost their jobs and most deaths occured in black communities. The demonstrations are getting a bit less violent since a day or two but still continuing and the president has yet to offer words of consolation nor did he do anything to try to calm things down. That man is the worst president America ever had in my opinion. Elections are scheduled this November and I pray to God Trump is not going to be re-elected. That is all I can say. Stay safe, stay strong, be kind and always keep a loving open mind! Ciao ciao from Amsterdam! Wednesday, May 13, 2020 My poem for you on this day: Closeness In the dark silence of the night I felt your snoring presence, so comforting, in rhyme. Everything’s gonna be alright, honey, everything’s gonna be alright. copyright Stella Jansen Friday, May 8, 2020 My poem for you today: Positive Confirmation by Stella Jansen A thousand wars could not eradicate or prevent Love, that boundless winner, our true and only Master in this ongoing Event. May your day be peaceful and loving and healthy and joyful! Thursday, May 7, 2020 We are still in the so-called intelligent lockdown. There was a press conference yesterday, the MP and Minister of Health anounced some measurements to slowly open up society a bit more. Already earlier was decided that the primary schools would open this Monday the 11th but with restrictions in place of a meter and half distance between the tables and chairs of the children. Hairdressers and fysio-therapists and beauty parlors may open next week also, with restrictions in place and only by appointment. In June public transport will be available to everyone again (up till now it was only for people in essential professions) but a facemask will be obligatory in the buses, trains and metro. Also in June bars and restaurants may open again but no more than 30 people inside. More business will open later on and all of these things will be turned back as soon as the infections and hospitalizations are rising again! We will see and abide by what is asked of us! Hopefully a vaccine is found very soon! Thursday, April 30, 2020 The covid-19 virus crisis rages still through the whole world. Here it is getting a little bit better, that is to say that the people in the IC's are less now and also less people admitted to hospitals and deathrate is declining. This slowdown of the virus seems to be happening in the countries around us. In the United States of America most deaths occured, especially New York City is hit very hard. It is an eerie situation when you go out, to buy some essentials f.i. I do not like it at all. Still social distancing is in order, not more than twoo people together, keeping a meter and a half distance from each other. Most of the population keeps in line with the socalled intelligent lockdown, however, there are more and more people who ignore the measures. Lot of fines but...anyway, hopefully this all will pass soon. It all depends on how soon a vaccin will be available and medication against corona is found. Scientists worldwide are working around the clock and the Oxford University Hospital in England has announced that they are very close to having the perfect vaccin...even as soon as September! Lets keep our fingers crossed! In the meantime... I am keeping myself occupied with writing, I made a new video, three as a matter of fact, two of myself singing songs with guitar and one of Sarah Vaughan singing April In Paris. I videochat with my darling son Owen in Ibiza daily, Justin and I watch programs together now and then and I am in whatsapp touch with my sisters and friends. Lets all be strong, stay healthy, be kind to one another and keep a positive frame of mind! Easter Monday, April 13, 2020 The coronavirus crisis (covid-19) is worldwide....many deaths, many people in hospitals...the whole world is in peril. It started in December 2019 in Wuhan in China... in my country Holland, we have a socalled 'intelligent lockdown' since half March. We are still allowed to go for a walk or a bicycle ride, go outside but not in groups of more than three people...and we have to keep a meter and half distance at all times. It is difficult and strange...This is a pandamonium, the last one like this was in 1918, the socalled Spanish flu. I hope a vaccin will be available sooner rather than later. Praying and keeping safe! March 4, 2020 Death is part of life, that is a given....we all lose loved ones.... I lost my mother, my father, my grandparents, my first boyfriend, my first husband, friends....When somebody you love with all your heart and soul suddenly passes away...the blow and shock is so intense...it takes time to come to terms with that reality.... I am still very sad and sometimes I still cannot believe that my darling Roger fell to his death on December 15, 2019....Alas, it is a fact of life....And of course I am grateful for all the years we had together...all the sweet and wonderful and hilariously funny experiences Roger and I shared...it will stay with me forever as well as his warmth, his kindness, his talent, his...well everything about him is engraved in my heart and soul. Roger, estas conmigo para siempre, mi amor, descansa en paz. Saturday, Februari 9, 2020 The pain of loss still is very much inside of me....I miss my man, my unforgettabel Roger, it's hard, so hard to come to terms with the reality of his death...he is gone...he died and I will never see him again, never hear his voice again....it hurts so much. Te quiero, Roger, estas conmigo para siempre. January 12, 2020 A whole brand new year! How could I have known about the sadness that would enter my life in the last month of 2019? Impossible, it came out of the blue and shattered me completely....One has to go on, no matter what but...oh man, how hard and horrible life can be at times! Mijn man is dood! Mi muy amado Rogelio Arrona Varela, mi Roger, se murió...me duele tanto tanto... Hij viel van het dak van het huis dat ie aan het bouwen is/was.....Ik kan er nog steeds niet goed bij, het is moeilijk als iemand van wie je al jaren zoveel houdt er plotseling niet meer is! He died because in the fall he hit his head on the stones and that's how my darling, my Roger, lost his life on December 15, 2019. Rest in peace, my love, Rust zacht, lieveling, DESCASA EN PAZ, MI AMOR! Sunday, November 24, 2019 Part of a song I wrote earlier this year comes to mind.... 'Gold is not easy to be found, my love, Broken but bold we'll find a way Once we were lost but we've come up above Nothing will be standing in our way' What's the use of making plans when it never works out the way you had envisioned it? Anyway....boldly and with confidence we carry on as best we know how, right? Happy Sunday to whoever reads my words Cheers! Sunday, November 3, 2019 Life is full of surprises...good ones and sometimes a little sad or...very sad...it's all part and parcel of the ongoing wheel of existence...isn't it? So, a poem is in order I think, here it comes: Published in the Anthology Lover’s Lane, Spring 1998 Issue of Golden Apple Press, Champaign, Illinois, USA. Connection Am I always the fool lost on the shores of Love? The core; what can be the meaning of meeting a man, a stranger, with whom you become só one, only to be left with a memory that greets you with every dew sprinkled dawn. My soul ablaze, my spirit free to soar, to be filled with the wondrous ecstasy of Love, Life, Continuity. Meaning to learn yet more about the mysteries of man. Sunday, September 29, 2019 What a wonderful vacation Justin and I had in Ibiza! It was fabulous! Sunshine and temperatures around 29 degrees Celcius, always a lovely breeze! Meeting with friends and my other son Owen, parties and dinners and lunches... the island is still magical! I loved it and I feel energized by all our marvelous experiences in Ibiza on vacation! Sunday, August 8, 2019 Feeling so at ease and peaceful...lovely classical music on the radio...my contentment is perfect! Love is my guiding Light! Monday, July 29, 2019 Hindsight Of all the men I’ve left I still love you the best. Though I’ve hated you at times so much I was afraid of such fierce emotion, it’s you I think of in my deepest solitude, you who fill my heart and soul with devotion. Now that I feel life falling through my fingers like the white beach-sand, I will treasure the good moments with you, the passionate, pure, unconditional love that still lingers. I was your woman, you were my man and we walked together for many a day. Published in Poems of the world, Vol.2, No. 2, Winter 1997/1998 Palatine, Illinois, USA. Friday, July 5, 2019 We had days so hot...but luckily it has cooled down a bit...still nice summer weather Ephemeral Happiness is but a moment in life, it’s not to be measured in time and space but to behold, I treasure within my soul the words you spoke after the moment was old Saturday, June 15, 2019 Feeling a bit melancholy today...it will pass.... Bamboozled ~ All around me I feel beset, I’d like to be strong, brave, plucky but it’s quite a bit to ask. A star blows to bits, the sun stands alone, the wind is a hurricane; where does it all come from? The wheel turns too fast, the skies are too dark, too little laughter, fear breaks the heart of lamentation and charge. ~ Tuesday, May 29, 2019 yesterday was my birthday and it was wonderful, so much love and well wishes from family and friends, my heart bursts with joy and gratitude! Melancholy Baby Being in your arms, I’d never want to go. How long can this last? Who knows? Tomorrow you’ll be flying, Tomorrow I’ll be crying and Today, in the scent of your embrace, Part of me is dying. Published in the Lover’s Lane Anthology, Spring 1998, Golden Apple Press, Champaign, Illinois, USA. Sunday, April 7, 2019 My poem for you today: Fortitude in Kindness copyright Stella Jansen Copyright Stella Jansen But all life is a toss of the coin there but for the grace of God I’m dead and gone or, when things seem to be going my way I’m allowed a little leeway running wild, without a care in the world, free in body and in soul, the Love Light child Though soon enough the fence is slapped down, all exits closed, the noose around my neck and down on my knees I go. It’s a madhouse this life I know But I know all life is a toss of the coin whether I’ll grasp the point and in merriment, peace and bliss, I’ll just continue on with a light heart, a clear mind and a gentle touch, fortitude in kindness. Sunday, March 31, 2019 A poem to make you feel loved and cared for, like I do, here it is: Closeness In the dark silence of the night I felt your snoring presence, so comforting, in rhyme. Everything’s gonna be alright, honey, everything’s gonna be alright. Sunday, March 24, 2019 Happy Sunday to All! Here is my poem for you today: Ephemeral Happiness is but a moment in life, it’s not to be measured in time and space but to behold, I treasure within my soul the words you spoke after the moment was old. Monday, March 18, 2019 Am blue so this can be called my Blue Monday...sun is out... but my heart is heavy with worry I know it is not good to worry too much...must pick myself up somehow...there is always a tomorrow they say... well...on with the show! Sunday, January 20, 2019 Happy New year to All! Sun is pouring in and I feel pretty good although am having a cold but that will pass and am feeling better already. Life is good! Life is full of unexpected surprises...sure, setbacks too now and then but im grossen Ganzen...I have nothing to nag or complain about. Life is wonderful and I am a very happy lucky woman indeed! December 26, 2018 The year is coming to an end and what a year it has been... oh boy...but...we'll go on! Call me Love by Stella Jansen Illusion or seduction cannot contain my lust for weltering in the call of your love, truth or imagination, stardust is what we are made of. It is Sunday, the 14th of October, 2018 We are enjoying an unbelievably beautiful after summer, an Indian Summer that may as well be referred to as Full Summer! Temperatures above the 25 degrees Celcius...It is marvelous! My holiday in Ibiza was fabulous, we celebrated Justin's 30th birthday at Nikki's Beach Restaurant, fantastic that was. Get-togethers with friends and relaxing on Cala Llonga Beach, it was so spectacular and wonderful to be back on Magic Ibiza! And this week Owen is on vacation with us here in Amsterdam and that is great too! Life is good! Sunday, September 9, 2018 Tomorrow my youngest son Justin is flying to Ibiza, I am taking him to Schiphol Airport in the morning. I am going there myself on the 17th of this month. We are all going to celebrate Justin's 30th birthday on September 19 in Ibiza. Am very much looking forward to being back there, my lovely magical island where I spent such happy years. I can hardly believe time went by so fast...but it did. Life goes by in the blink of an eye! ~ Friday, August 10, 2018 I have become a member with patreon, check it out: https://www.patreon.com/posts/20672270 It is a platform for creative people to get help and encouragement of the public who can become patrons. Like in the old days when painters and sculptors and other artists had a patron who stood by them, gave advice and supported them. I think it is a great idea! Hope you like it! Have a splendid day! Cheers! July 18, 2018 Here a poem I wrote many years agao: Enigma Oh, Love, how phantasmagorical are your myriad ways! How infinitely pleasurable your inescapable sting. copyright 2018 Stella Jansen Today is Sunday, May 6, 2018 and a glorious day, sunny and sweet! I am the happiest woman alive in the entire world! Yes, it is true... a wonderful man has come into my life and he makes me so very happy! I love him so much and he loves me and we are great together! This is the best thing that has happened to me in a very very long time. I am completely fullfilled and bubbling with energy and happiness! Love! Love Love! April 2, 2018 Life is good and the people I love are all in good health so...no complaints there! Sometimes though one can be too trusting. It happened to me and it is a valuable lesson learned. My heart was broken...well, not broken but bruised and my faith in people wavered, however, I got up, brushed off the debris on me and, like the brave soldier that I am, carried on. Here I am, alive and kicking! Oh well, c'est la vie! I fell in love in February and now, the beginning of April, the spell has gone. It is best to laugh it off and carry on! And...for the two months that it lasted, it was great and I will always treasure the memory! On with the show! January 29, 2018 Almost a whole month gone already into the new year! Wow, indeed time does fly! Not a moment to waste...well, actually I love loafing around and I am reading a great book, the second part of the Cazalet Family Chronicles by Elizabeth Jane Howard. Let me start this year here off with a poem: Call me love by Stella Jansen Illusion or seduction cannot contain my lust for weltering in the call of your love, truth or imagination, stardust is what we are made of. Donderdag, 21 december 2017 Heerlijk, zo met alle kadootjes onder onze mooie kleine kerstboom...ik voel me zo content en gelukkig! Het weer is minder, mistig en drizzling, niets aan. Maar zo, een gedichtje: Kralen copyright by Stella Jansen De dagen zijn als kralen door de nachtelijke draad tot één lange keten die de aarde duizend malen omspant. Maar de keten is te zwaar geworden. De aarde breekt krakend los en de tijd zal stilstaan als de werkelijkheid aan ’t Licht komt omtrent de zin en doel van het Al. Monday, December 18, 2017 The year is coming to an end, our Christmas tree is standing and celebrations are on the way! yeah! I wish you a merry Christmas I wish you a merry Christmas I wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year! Sunday, December 3, 2017 Owen is back in Ibiza. Here all is well, recovering from the operation, Tuesday I have to go back to see the surgeon. Feeling good! Part of a song I once wrote pops up in my mind: 'Chrismas time is here again voices singing peace again even the soldiers take a break the holy promise made one day it always seems to fade away in Januari.' May life treat you kindly! Tuesday, November 28, 2017 Autumnwind is blowing, rain is falling.. and Sinterklaas is in het land met zijn zwarte pieten en roet pieten en weet-ik-veel pieten. I am recuperating from surgery and happy with the very good care of my two sons. My complaint to the VU Hospital is under review. Bitcoins are the hype! The value has gone up tremendously. Cheers! Sunday, November 5, 2017 Something awful happened to me this past Wednesday in the VU Hopistal here in Amsterdam. I was given a medicine before undergoing a surgical procedure and unfortunately they administered a medication for which I am allergic. It was negligence of the worst kind, it could've killed me. Naturally I issued a complaint to the direction of the hospital. Let's see what kind of answer I get! Thank God I came out of it alive and kicking and therefore I am happy to post one of my poems here: Reverberation by Stella Jansen Try as you may you’ll never figure them out. Better to take up the candle and have a walkabout in the garden of your being though the path may appear to be perilous, narrow and steep all it takes is adaptation to let go and jump into the deep. copyright by Stella Jansen Published in Another Small Magazine, 1997, Andrew Mountain Press, Hartford, Conn., USA Wednesday, October 18, 2017 This poem I like very much and am happy to share with you today: Mariette Copyright Lee Bridges Awakening in a quagmire of depression In a lone room dimly lit Sweating oceanic tears of affection While tormented almost out of my wit As her voice lives ever in reflection Really inconceivable conforming to it Don’t worry dear Trembling as though To hide its fear Quite incapable of falling asleep again Troubled in body and in soul Tossing and turning beyond my command As tales of dishonor commence to unfold Of pompous egos in far away lands Mighty kings strutting and knaves bold In pursuit of my queen Syrupy tongues babbling what The heart does not mean Midmorning aided by coffee and cigarette Listening for a soft clink at the door Envisaging the trials of dear Mariette Out along the way she chose to explore At last a sound, which I’ll never forget, In the hallway a letter upon the floor Saying everything is all right Spirits lifted for a moment But ever closer comes the night. ~ Excerpt from the book ME TWO, Reflections of the Cannabis Poet by Lee Bridges, ISBN 1-930258-02-x Today, October 1, 2017, my oldest son Owen finished the Half Marathon in Köln, Germany, in 1.45.42 hours, the distance of 21.10 km. I am so proud of him! Bravo, Owen! Thursday, September 28, 2017 It is such a great feeling when you have accomplished a task well done! My short story collection entitled She would've been a writer, is finished and for sale with amazon. My next project is to get my Dutch short story collection ready for publication. The weather is splendid, we are having an Indian Summer! Yeah! My son Owen is off to Köln tomorrow bright and early. He is going to run the Half Marathon there on Sunday! Yeah! Friday, September 15, 2017 A lot can happen in a couple of weeks, good and bad! The good is that my son Justin came back from his fantastic holiday in Ibiza and Owen is here too so that I have my two boys with me again, yeah! But...a terrible earthquake happened in Mexico, in the state Oaxaca...well, no, actually the epicenter was at sea but the force was enormous! 8,2 on the Richter scale and it was registered as the strongest earthquake since 1917, a hundred years! I immediately called my darling Roger and thank God that he and all of the family, his two sons and everybody is unharmed. The buildings in Oaxaca-city were not badly damaged. Part of a wall of a hotel belonging to the family, La Casa Azul, broke down but aside from that...few damages. However, the city Juchitan, south of Oaxaca, was struck heavily, more than 90 people perished and the devastation is enormous. Devastation also in the Caribbean area, islands like Dutch and French Sint Maarten were turned into a wasteland by the storm Irma that was creating havoc with gustst of wind over 340 km/per hour! Cuba was affected heavily also and parts of the Key islands South of Florida and part of Florida as well. The week before another hurricane, Harvey, raged over Texas creating devastation there. So...we can be assured that climate change is not a hoax, it is a reality the whole world has to reckon with! Donderdag, 31 augustus 2017 Vandaag is het twintig jaar geleden dat Diana, Princess of Wales, omkwam in de tunnel bij Pont Alma in Parijs, samen met haar vriend Dodi El Fayed. De bestuurder die naar later bleek veel te veel alcohol in zijn bloed had was op slag dood net als Dodi. Diana leefde nog en men heeft in het ziekenhuis uren geprobeerd haar te redden maar haar verwondingen waren te ernstig en ze stierf, pas 36 jaar oud, met achterlating van haar twee zoons, de prinsen William (15) en Harry (12). Heel Engeland was gedompeld in diepe rouw en eigenlijk de hele wereld. Princess Diana was de beroemdste en meest gefotografeerde vrouw van die tijd. Ik weet nog precies waar ik was. Mijn zusjes en ik waren net terug gekomen van een lang weekend in Deventer waar we de 50ste verjaardag van mijn oudste zusje Titia vierden met bezoekjes aan geliefde plekken uit onze fijne jeugd. Toen we aankwamen in Bloemendaal was het nieuws op de televisie en ik weet nog hoe geschokt wij waren. Arme Diana. Maar zij en Dodi hadden hun riemen niet om, waarom niet? En wat voor nut had het om met 120 km/p uur door het centrum van Parijs te scheuren? Ja, om de paparazzi af te schudden! Maar...jezus en, zo heb ik me tig keren afgevraagd, waarom bleven zij en Dodi niet gewoon in hun suite in het Ritz Hotel? Waarom moesten ze zo nodig naar zijn flat middenin in de nacht? Vragen die voor altijd onbeantwoord zullen blijven. Thursday, August 24, 2017 Lovely weather lately, no complaints there! My son Justin is having his well deserved holiday in Ibiza. His brother Owen lives there now also. Their father has been living on the island for many years. I haven't been back for quite awhile but hopefully I can go there soon, perhaps with Christmas. That would be great. The weather is often quite nice around that time. But going to Ibiza in February when the almond trees are in blossom... the island looks like a fairy tale then with white and soft pink blossoms swirling eveywhere. Actually it is always a good time to go to Ibiza. November is the worst month because it is raining a lot then and it usually is a bit chilly also. Anyway...I could do with a little get away. Ibzia, la isla blanca! Forever in my heart! Saturday, August 12, 2017 Now that I have reached a mature age I am becoming a bit forgetful and that bugs the hell out of me.... Oh well, c'est la vie as they say. Today I give you a poem of my late husband and dear friend Lee Bridges: It’s The Truth By Lee Bridges (31/05/1927-17/02/2005) And they came from all around to look at it And they began to laugh And how they laughed & laughed & laughed Then quietly in solemn dignity it looked About and Noticing that all of them were laughing Every single one of them from Every single point of view were Laughing and laughing and laughing It lifted its voice and joined in laughter With them Suddenly they cursed and began to observe Each, one the other from The corner of an eye ` Friday, August 11, 2017 When you go to my website, www.stellajansen.nl and click on MUSIC you have a chance to see and listen to my video-clips. They're quite nice if I say so myself. Enjoy! Maandag, 24 juli 2017 Stella: 'Ze is niet gek. Ze laat haar hart gewoon niet in een kooi stoppen. Soms hebben we mensen nodig zoals zij, omdat het de verlangens in haar hart zijn die bij ons de vlammen opwakkeren. En ze was altijd bereid om te branden voor alles wat ze ooit heeft lief gehad. Ze is enig in haar soort. Ze is goddelijk. Ze is magisch. Em ze hoeft niet op iemand te wachten om haar dat te vertellen omdat ze dat al weet van zichzelf. En daat maakt haar zo magisch en mooi.' by: Anonymous Monday, July 3, 2017 How wonderful it is to be able to use Skype and talk with loved ones far away! Yesterday my son Justin and I chatted with Owen, his brother and my oldest son, who lives in Ibiza now. He loves it there and it was such a pleasure to talk to him. Bonnie, my sister's dog is staying with us for a fortnight because my sister, her husband and son Haye are on vacation in Iceland. I received some amazing photo's this morning from a beautiful waterfall and today they're off to walk on gletschers. Bonnie is a Frisian Stabij and so sweet, cute and adorable. Justin and I love her! Saurday, June 24, 2017 Since yesterday the weather has changed, it is not so terribly hot anymore. Here a poem for you: I Am by Stella Jansen After all is said and done just close your eyes and rest your head in the warm, vitalizing, healthy rays of the sun and all that is in universe will flow through you, purifies you soul, strengthens your body, enlightens your spirit. You are one with nature, one with yourself and you are one with God. Published in The Pegasus Review, Summer 1998, Henderson, Maryland, USA Monday, June 19, 2017 Man, it is so hot! This month has been incredible with more warm and sunny days than...well, I don't know but it sure is wonderful! Making good progress with putting together a book of short stories in Dutch. I feel good! Yeah! Saturday, June 17, 2017 My poem for you today: Positive Confirmation copyright Stella Jansen A thousand wars could not eradicate or prevent Love, that boundless winner, our true and only Master in this ongoing Event. ~ Zaterdag, 10 juni 2017 Wat kan het leven toch fijn zijn hè? Ja, zeker, als alles ook es een keertje goed en leuk gaat dan is dat zeker zo. Heb een heerlijke week gehad op het eiland Rhodos! Wat een prachtig eiland is dat zeg! De Oude Stad, de z.g. Akropolis, is enorm! Een labyrint van pleinen, steegjes, straatjes, ruïnes, tempels, kerken, moskeeën, eeuwenoude prachtige gebouwen. Je kijkt je ogen uit! Fantastisch allemaal en...ik heb zulke leuke mensen ontmoet. Vooral de Italiaanse Donnatella was lief en inspirerend! Ik heb twee excursies gemaakt, een dag met een boot, Discovery, naar Lindos, een alleraardigst dorpje verder zuidelijk en op een grote ferry boot een dag naar Symi, het wonderschone eiland met het klooster Panormitis en het stadje Symi, werkelijk een plaatje! Ik heb heel veel foto's gemaakt en enorm genoten. Iedere dag zon en zaligheid. Ik ga zeker nog een keer terug daar naar toe als het leven me het toestaat! Zondag, 14 mei 2017 Het is Moederdag vandaag en mijn jongste zoon Justin verrast me! Vanmiddag gaan we samen maar de film Mama Mia. Zo lief van hem! Mijn oudste zoon Owen is nog in Egmond maar die komt vandaag weer hier. Nog maar twee dagen voor zijn vertrek naar Ibiza. Het fijne ervan is wel dat ik dan ook weer es naar mijn magische eiland kan gaan om hem te zien en bij hem te logeren. Zo zie je maar, om met Johan Cruyff te spreken: Elk nadeel heb ze voordeel! Thursday, April 13, 2017 'Ze is een dromer, een doener, een denker. Ze ziet overal mogelijkheden. Ze heeft dat altijd al gehad, die blik van anders zijn, van ogen die meer kunnen zien en gedachten die afdwalen naar de rand van de wereld. Ze is een zonnestraal gemengd met een kleine orkaan. Haar hart is een geheime tuin en de muren zijn zeer hoog. Ze is gek, maar ze is magisch. Er zit geen leugen in haar vuur.' Iemand die mij nooit ontmoet heeft schreef dit over mij en...tja, wat zal ik zeggen? Het klopt wel aardig! Het is wie ik ben! Het leven zelf is magisch! Sunday, April 9, 2017 Yeah, it is such a glorious day! It feels like summer with sun out full blast and temperatures up to 20 degrees Celcius. Enjoying it tremendously, love is in the air! Feeling great! Saturday, April 1, 2017 Feeling good! Later today my sons and I are going to celebrate my sister's birthday. I am totally at peace now with my son's decision to make a change in his life and to move to Spain. It is good. I am glad that he makes this change, better now than too late! My book is for sale here: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B06XBSY3T4 Have a nice day! Wednesday, March 29th, 2017 Happy birthday, sister! I am a bit low because I just heard that my oldest son is going to move away. I am going to miss him so much. He is going to live and work with his father in Ibiza. It is not the end of the world, I know but still....it is in Spain, not Holland. Still, I have to be at peace with it. What he does with his life is his affair and his affair only! I am happy for him that he has made up his mind to make a big change. Life is like that. I have made big changes in my life too that didn't always please my parents I am sure. So...I am doing my utmost to keep smiling and keep a positive attitude. So, with that in mind, to cheer myself up and to be courageous and confident I share a poem with you. Like this copyright Stella Jansen Don’t fear, don’t doubt, say a little prayer ever so often and don’t go out of your mind. Stay sweet, reliable And kind. Published in the Lover’s Lane Anthology, Spring 1998, The Golden Apple Press, Champaign, Illinois, USA. Monday, March 20, 2017 Today I am giving you a poem written for me by my second husband and father of my two sons Owen and Justin, David Moss. He wrote it a few days after we met and later I incorporated it into a song I wrote. Here it is: Published in the Lover’s Lane Anthology, Spring 1998 Issue, Golden Apple Press, Champaign, Illinois, USA. Wild (From David for Mariette) Wild as the animals that run free in the breeze Beautiful as the fruits that grow on the trees Sweet as the flowers that grow on the land Loving as the bodies as they roll in the sand You are as special as you can be ‘cause you are you and I am me. Sunday, March 19, 2017 My late husband, the Afro-American poet Lee Bridges, wrote a beautiful poem about me when I went out on my own to sing in The Inter-Continental Hotel in Tehran in the Spring of 1977. It touches my heart and soul and I like to share it with you: Mariette Copyright Lee Bridges Awakening in a quagmire of depression In a lone room dimly lit Sweating oceanic tears of affection While tormented almost out of my wit As her voice lives ever in reflection Really inconceivable conforming to it Don’t worry dear Trembling as though To hide its fear Quite incapable of falling asleep again Troubled in body and in soul Tossing and turning beyond my command As tales of dishonor commence to unfold Of pompous egos in far away lands Mighty kings strutting and knaves bold In pursuit of my queen Syrupy tongues babbling what The heart does not mean Midmorning aided by coffee and cigarette Listening for a soft clink at the door Envisaging the trials of dear Mariette Out along the way she chose to explore At last a sound, which I’ll never forget, In the hallway a letter upon the floor Saying everything is all right Spirits lifted for a moment But ever closer comes the night. ~ Excerpt from the book ME TWO, Reflections of the Cannabis Poet by Lee Bridges, ISBN 1-930258-02-x Thursday, February 16, 2017 Two books of mine are now for sale: www.bol.com and www.lulu.com I am working on putting three more novels of mine for sale there, one Dutch novel and two English ones. I have the Collected Poems of W.B. yeats, one of my favorite poets. One of his poems I put to music and my wish is to be able to record it with a good guitarist. I am going to ask Ronald Gans, he used to perform with me in my band. Hereunder the first part of that fabulous poem: The Lady’s First Song I TURN round Like a dumb beast in a show, Neither know what I am Nor where I go, My language beaten Into one name; I am in love And that is my shame. What hurts the soul My soul adores, No better than a beast Upon all fours. By W.B. Yeats Woensdag 1 Februari 2017 Mooi klaar dat we ermee zijn zeg! Die gore klootzak Trump heeft in de eerste 12 dagen van zijn presidentschap al allerlei vreselijke decreten uitgevoerd o.a. een ban op moslims uit zeven landen. De situaties zijn schrijnend. En zijn kabinet bestaat uit miljardairs/racisten en facisten. Het is echt om te janken maar gelukkig is er grote weerstand en demonstraties zijn aan de orde van de dag. Ik hoop dat ze die lul gauw afzetten. Begin maar met de impeachment! Verder gaat het trouwens erg goed met me. No worries! Wishing the same for you! Friday, January 14, 2017 Feeling a bit low so...a poem: Positive Confirmation copyright Stella Jansen A thousand wars could not eradicate or prevent Love, that boundless winner, our true and only Master in this ongoing Event. Tuesday, January 3, 2017 Another day, another year! My best wishes for health, happiness and joy for all! Feliz Año Nuevo, amigos! Bonne Annee 2017, mes amis! Een gezond, vrolijk en voorspoedig 2017 aan ieder! Cheerio! Ik heb gister het manuscript van mijn roman verstuurd! Wish me luck! Doei! Maandag, 26 december 2016, Tweede Kerstdag! Vrlijk Kerstfeest Iedereen! Merry Christmas to everyone! Feliz Navidad a todos! We hebben het gezellig, mijn jongens en ik. Leuke wisseling van kadootjes onder de kerstboom. All is well in our home, thank God! Wel triest het nieuws vandaag dat George Michael is overleden, 53 jaar oud. Zo jong en zo'n fantastische singer/songwriter. Vooral zijn liedje Careless Whisper is prachtig, één van mijn favorieten. Rust zacht, Michael. In de mensen een welbehagen! Today, December 6, 2016, I want to share this lovely poem with you. It was written by David Moss, the father of my two sons Owen and Justin. Here it is: Childhood Poem By David Moss To really know someone, Deep inside, To get beyond, What our personality hides. To accept their good points, Along with the bad, To allow other opinions, Without getting mad. Through a childs eyes, The world can learn a lot, We could let out our anger, Without firing a shot. Our childhood friends, Come from our truth, Before adult games, Only the beauty of our youth. I love each one of you, As different as we may be, For sharing such beautiful times, For growing up with me. Copyright David Moss Dinsdag 29 november 2016 Mijn gedicht: Het wereld toneel Tegen een achtergrond van geweeklaag en politiek geklets is er nog niets veranderd, veel te veel gezwets. Ego’s groot en zwaar beladen met verhalen over eigen grootheid in vroeger jaren. Tijd en plaats bestaan niet meer, kom tot elkaar of val dood, over en weer. Ik zou niet willen meedoen in dit grote schouwtoneel maar ik leef ook zoveel ik kan en ieder speelt zijn rol en krijgt zijn deel. Thursday, November 17, 2016 Hillary Clinton won the American election because by popular vote she got more than 2 million votes more than Trump and they are still counting! This has never occured before. Since last Tuesday when that asshole Trump was proclaimed president elect protestors are swarming into the streets in a lot of cities in the States and people continue to shout: Not my president! before the Trump Towers in Manhattan. I am very worried about what this terrible bigot is going to do, he already has surrounded himself with ultra right wing creeps. The KKK is planning a big celebration on the third of December and all over the country people of color, immigrants and other minorities are being bullied and threatened. People feel they can do that now because Trump has given them a free pass. It is so horrible! There are people who say Let's wait and see, it won't be as bad as that. But I think that things look very bleak with this racist/bigot/mysogynist as top gun of the mightiest country in the world. He already said that he will not stand by Obama's promise to uphold the Climate Treaty of Paris. That fool says that there is no such thing as climate change. There are unfortunately too many stupid people who believe this fraud! Oh well...perhaps by some miracle Trump will not be inaugurated as the 45th president of the United States. One can only hope! In God we trust indeed! Donderdag, 10 november 2016 Het is niet te bevatten, ik kan er nog steeds niet goed bij en voel me verslagen en intens verdrietig want...Amerika heeft de racist en vreselijke bullebak idioot Donald Trump tot president gekozen! Vreselijk! Hillary Clinton had de eerste vrouwelijke president van Amerika moeten worden. Daar ging iedereen vanuit en de peilingen hadden haar al steeds op voorsprong staan. Maar het liep anders. In feite heeft Hillary wel gewonnen want ze kreeg meer dan 200 duizend stemmen meer dan Trump maar omdat ze daar nog steeds dat achterlijke systeem uit ergens in 1800 handhaven won toch Donald Trump omdat hij meer kiesmannen had dan Hillary. Het is echt een inktzwarte dag geworden, 8 november 2016. Hij heeft de meest ondenkbare plannen. Hij wil alles wat president Obama in de 8 jaar dat hij president was tot stand bracht terug draaien in de eerste 100 dagen van zijn presidentschap. Op 20 januari 2017 zal die klootzak worden beëedigd. Hoe kunnen mensen zo stom zijn? Om deze racist te kiezen! Denken ze nu echt dat hij hun leven zal verbeteren? Hij zal de rijken rijker maken en de armen nog armer. De KKK en de neo nazi's hebben hem omarmd. Nou, lekker dan! Nee, dit is echt het ergste wat kon gebeuren bij deze verkiezingen. Bovendien is het Huis van Afgevaardigden en het Congres in meerderheid Republikeins dus....Oh God, please help us! Zaterdag, 5 november 2016 Zoals water het gezicht weerspiegelt, zo weerspiegelt het hart de mens. Spreuken 27:19 Zondag, 23 oktober 2016 De Bul uitreiking vrijdag in Groningen was super! Owen is nu Executive Master of Accountancy. Ik ben zo trots op hem. De nazit was ook erg gezellig met lekkere hapjes en drankjes. Daarna hebben we lekker gegeten in een Australisch restaurant in het centrum van Groningen. Een top dag! Vrijdag, 21 oktober 2016, Het is een glorieuze dag vandaag! Vanmiddag rijden Justin en ik naar Owen's flat in Hilversum en dan stomen we met zijn drietjes op naar Groningen. Owen krijgt vandaag in de Universiteitsbibliotheek van Groningen zijn Bul voor Post-Master Executive Master of Accountancy diploma uitgereikt! Hoera! Ik ben zo trots op hem. Geweldig! Arend, Titia en Geertje komen ook en na afloop gaan we op kosten van Owen en Justin hun vader David uit eten in Groningen. En...ze gaan vanavond samen naar het concert van Tiësto in de Ziggo Dome in Amsterdam. Wat een prachtige dag, de zon schijnt ook, alles is perfecto! Monday, October 17, 2016 The Eternal Question Copyright Stella Jansen What delight the soul that exists merely to be. What everlasting happiness never to wonder why what is this and why me? What happiness a child’s voice, singing a song you once sang when yourself still young, unencumbered, not yet trampled, cast down by the worldly, the mighty, the strong. So wrong. But, soul, not for this world, in tears, perpetually throwing questions up to stars and sky Oh what blessing simply to exist never wondering why? Monday, October 10, 2016 Today is the birthday of Jonathan, Lee's son who is celebrating 27 years now! Happy Birthday, Jonathan! On November 8, the American people will chose a new president. The choice is between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. For the life of me I cannot understand that there are people who seriously consider that awful bigot, racist and rapist Trump as their future president. Please God, make Hillary the next president of the United States of America. Although I do not agree with everything she stands for anyone is better suited than this idiot Trump. Send some sense into the heads of people who want to vote for him, please God! It is a nice sunny day here and I am going to clean my house now. Cheerio! Today,October 6, 2016, is my father's birthday. He is not with us anymore already for 34 years. He died on September 4, 1982, and I miss him so much. My dad was a very sweet fun loving kind man. He was also very handsome and he adored my sweet mother. My dad was a fantastic father for me and my two sisters. He remains in my heart forever and ever and ever. Ik houd van je, pappie! Dinsdag, 4 oktober, 2016 Vandaag is het Dierendag en ik denk aan al onze lieve poezen en onze twee honden Scotty en Boomer. Onze poezen waren Sammy, Ying, Jopie, Flower, Prins en Bobby die er niet meer zijn helaas. Wat een liefde en plezier hebben ze ons gegeven. Met genegeheid en ook een beetje weemoed denk ik nog wel es terug aan ze en die heerlijke onbezorgde tijden. Vroeger thuis hadden we ook poezen: Maupie, Minetje en Gypsy. 3 oktober 2016.. Vandaag denk ik aan Geertje, het is haar verjaardag. Ze is ons dit jaar op 1 maart ontvallen en ik mis haar enorm. Ze was zo vrolijk en lief, altijd een luisterend oor en een helpende hand. Zwaar ook voor Jan, haar toegewijde lieve man. De dood zit ons op de hielen en je weet maar nooit wanneer hij toe zal slaan. Ik probeer me ervan bewust te zijn en het leven zoveel mogelijk te vieren, blij te zijn met alles en iedereen die ik heb. Ik zal haar nooit vergeten, ze blijft een warme plaats in mijn hart innemen. Rust zacht, lieve Geertje. October 1, 2016 Goodmorning, It is a nice day, I give you my poem Melancholy Baby Published in the Lover’s Lane Anthology, Spring 1998, Golden Apple Press, Champaign, Illinois, USA. Melancholy Baby Being in your arms, I’d never want to go. How long can this last? Who knows? Tomorrow you’ll be flying, Tomorrow I’ll be crying and Today, in the scent of your embrace, Part of me is dying. 30 september 2016 Het is een wonderbaarlijke maand geweest deze September! Heel veel prachtige warme zonnige dagen! Vandaag is het somber en grijs maar toch, September heeft veel goed gemaakt! Hoera! Tijd voor een gedicht: Heerlijkheid copyright: Stella Jansen Laat de stormen loeien, laat de wind begaan maar heb meelij met de koeien die daar buiten staan. Laat het leven tieren en laat de zon begaan, je kunt het maar eenmaal vieren dan kom je ergens anders aan. Als de vuren hoog oplaaien en de golven woedend overslaan, sta dan op het strand te maaien met je handen en benen die nooit stil willen staan. Wanneer het kind je iets komt vragen, als de problemen je overstelpen, vul dan de geest gelijk de magen en denk: Ach, zij kunnen het ook niet helpen. Kortom, als je oud bent geworden, als de vuren totaal zijn uitgeblust, denk dan niet meer aan de horden want die vechtersbazen krijgen nooit rust. Tuesday, September 6, 2016 It is marvelous! This wonderful weather we are having! Sunshine, nice warm temperatures, we are very lucky indeed. Nothing new, just happy to be alive and kicking! Cheerio! August 16, 2016 Wow! Sanne Wevers won gold yesterday, she was fabulous! The Olympic Games in Rio, Brasil are in full swing and our Dutch sporters are doing well! It is great to watch atlethes giving their very best, I love it! Both my sons have had great vacations in Ibiza and I hope to get away for a holiday soon as well. Working steadily, my new novel is coming along nicely. So, there's nothing to fret about, I am a happy woman! Yeah! July 22, 2016 The month of June has passed in predominantly rain and temperatures way below what they should have been but now, this month, it is a whole diffferent story. Well, that is to say since about a week! We have glorious summer weather, a bit too hot for my taste it was but today it is absolutelye perfect. All is well in my little circle and life is good. Have a jolly good day, folks! Saturday, June 18, 2016 Song, copyright Stella Jansen No hard feelings No more crying over you, you go your way, I go mine. No more relying on you, our story’s over, our time was due. So we part with no hard feelings thinking just how lucky we were to meet the way we did and all is fine, and all is fine. That’s the way it goes with feelings, once here and then they’re just gone. It’s like a song, just like a song. Oh, the beauty we shared, always together, we really cared. So, what happened, what went wrong? the spell was broken, the magic gone. Still, we’ll always remember it. And we’ll always treasure it. No hard feelings, we’ll be friends. We both gave the very best we had. Partir c’est mourir un peu, yes, I loved you so. Wednesday, June 15, 2016 My son Justin left for Ibiza this past Sunday for vacacion. He is staying with his dad and is having a whale of a time. I am so happy for him. It is very overcast today. Doderdag, 9 juni 2016 Ah, wat heerlijk dit mooie warme zomerweer! Hoera! Eindelijk is het zomer en ik voel me weer helemaal goed! Yeah! Donderdag, 26 mei 2016 Het is zo goed als voorbij, ik kan weer redelijk bewegen, nog wel duizelig af en toe en ik moet kalm aan doen. Maar goed, the worst is behind me. Ben wel een beetje down maar ook dat gaat voorbij. Over twee dagen hoop ik mijn 67ste verjaardag te vieren. Time waits for no one! Enfin, on with the show! De jongens en ik gaan gezellig uit eten in de Tolhuis Tuin hier in Noord aan het IJ zaterdag. M'n zusje nam me afgelopen maandag mee naar het Grand Hotel in het centrum van Amsterdam voor een High Tea. Dat was fantastisch! Tweede Pinksterdag, Maandag, 16 mei 2016 Het herstel van die ellendige val van de trap vandaag precies twee weken geleden gaat langzaam maar gestaag. De wond op mijn voorhoofd is uitstekend gehecht en daardoor ziet het er goed uit. Ik heb van m'n oudste zoon twee flesjes rozenbottelzaad olie gekregen wat heel goed schijnt te zijn voor hetstel van huidbeschadigingen. Mijn rug is nog zwak maar ik kan inmiddels wel wat beter bewegen. Alles komt goed. Het is nu vrij koud sinds een paar dagen, hiervoor hadden we meer dan twee weken prachtig warm en zonnig weer met in het zuiden zelfs dagen van boven de 25 graden Celcius. Vrij uniek voor deze tijd van het jaar. Het kan verkeren, nietwaar? Zoals good old Bredero al zeide. De koetjes staan al weer geruime tijd in de weide. Zo jammer dat onze Douwe Bob het Eurovisie Songfestival van zaterdag jongstleden niet gewonnen heeft. Hij eindigde op de elfde plaats. Ik vond hem en zijn liedje, Slow Down, het beste van allemaal. Maar het mocht weer niet zo zijn kennelijk. Goed, de hoogste tijd voor een gedicht: Cerca copyright Stella Jansen En el obscuro de la noche siento tu presencia roncando, tan cómodo, todo se va arreglar, mi amor, todo. Published in POETALK, October 1992, Vol.17, Berkeley, CA, USA Vertaling in het nederlands: Dichtbij copyright Stella Jansen In ’t duister van de nacht voel ik jouw snurkende aanwezigheid, zo geruststellend, alles komt goed, schattebout, alles. Wedmesday, May 11, 2016 So much can happen in such a short period of time. Last Monday something awful happened to me, I fell off the stairs in my house and hurt myself terribly. I consider myself lucky to be alive and thank God, a woman passing by heard me scream in agony. Well, long story short: Hospital, photo's of my back and thank God nothing is broken but my entire body is in shock and bruised beyond belief. Both my sons have been such a tremendous help to me, they are pure gold. I had a big hole in my forehead and a tiny one very close to my right eye. The stitches came out yesterday and it looks alright. One moment you are singing along and the next... oh well...I am so lucky to be alive and kicking, haha! So, what else is new? It looks like another publisher is interested in my book. Fingers crossed. Again. Hope is what I live for. I am feeling good like I know I should! Cheerio! Vrijdag, 29 April 2016 Ja, het zonnetje, heel af en toe maar koud! Nog steeds is het veel te koud met regen, harde wind en in het noorden en zuiden zelfs sneeuw, ijzel en hagel! Wanneer komt de lieve Lente nou es? Kom, kom kom, lieve Lente, kom snel! Monday, April 25, 2016 Love Dance Copyright Stella Jansen Mariachi players were in evidence when we were dancing in the square. Your lips quivered when I kissed you. Such love, when found, cannot be denied for it is verily rare. Zaterdag, 23 April 2016 Vandaag, 30 jaar geleden, werd mijn oudste zoon Owen geboren. Wat een belevenis, wat een onbeschrijflijk geluk voor mij en zijn vader David. Zeven maanden zwanger schreef ik onderstaand gedicht, het kwam zomaar in me op en ik schreef het terwijl het in me op kwam in het Babyboek dat ik van een vriendin gekregen had. Later toen ik begon mijn gedichten naar Literaire Bladen te sturen zond ik het gedicht in voor een wedstrijd precies zoals ik het in het Babyboek geschreven had zonder ook maar één woord te veranderen. Groot was mijn verrassing toen ik bericht kreeg dat mijn gedicht de wedstrijd - waaraan 393 dichters van over de hele wereld hadden mee gedaan - de eerste prijs gewonnen had. Hier komt het: Baby to be born Like a flower are you or maybe like a bird sailing on the clouds. I feel sensations of fluttering wings of a butterfly. Your time is due, honey-child, me and you are going to reach each other - eye to eye – and see and feel and touch and smell and be. The world begins anew; my heart and yours are close together: thump…thump…thump…. Our souls and bodies will become stronger and better. Move inside me, you, unknown Light. I’m waiting to meet you, my true delight! First Prize in the 1993 BAPC Poetry Competition, Berkeley, CA. USA, published in 1994 BAPC Anthology 15, Berkeley, CA, USA Tuesday, April 19, 2016 Published in Lover’s Lane 1998 Anthology Golden Apple Press, Champaign, Illinois, USA. Misplacement copyright Stella Jansen Green falls the rain, dismal, gloomy. I just wrote to you, hard words, cold, descending upon you like the ragged rain. In thought I see you reading, it looks like I pierced your heart. Your hands tremble, you turn ashen, white… Rage tears your face apart. You hate me now but I also see your resolve and I know I’ve misplaced you. Maandag 18 April 2016 Nou, de euforie heeft een paar dagen geduurd waarin m'n gezonde verstand een blokje om was maar inmiddels ben ik op aarde terug gekeerd. Natuurlijk zie ik er vanaf met deze uitgeverij in zee te gaan. Het contract zal ik niet tekenen want daarmee zou ik mezelf en mijn werk zwaar tekort doen. En daar pas ik voor. Leuk hoor, die cowboys met hun mooie praatjes but sorry, guys, not with me and not with my work! Vrijdag, 15 april 2016 Hoera! Geweldig! Een uitgeverij wil mijn nederlandse roman uitbrengen! Ik ben in de wolken, wat een heerlijk nieuws! Happy! Happy! Happy! Thursday, April 14, 2016 My poem for today: Positive Confirmation copyright Stella Jansen A thousand wars could not eradicate or prevent Love, that boundless winner, our true and only Master in this ongoing Event. Wednesday, April 13, 2016 So happy because today I will undergo the last radiation treatment in the Antonie van Leeuwenhoek Hospital, yeah! All done! And it is very nice sunny weather as well so what could be bad? So here a little sweet poem of mine that was published 4 times in Literary Magazines in USA, Canada and England: Butterfly copyright Stella Jansen Your eyes look into mine, soft, loyal, full of sympathy I surrender to you and regret it instantly. In het Nederlands is ie eigenlijk nog beter en grappiger: Vlinder copyright Stella Jansen Je ogen kijken me aan trouw, liefdevol, vol begrip ik geef me over aan jou en heb er weer spijt van in een wip. Have a brilliant day, folks! Dinsdag, 12 april 216 Heerlijk dit mooie lenteweer sinds een paar dagen. Ik ben sowieso blij want morgen is de laatste dag van de bestralingen in het Antonie van Leeuwenhoek Ziekenhuis, hoera! Monday, April 11, 2016 Happy Birthday, Grandma Nancy! Oh man, we had such a glorious day yesterday, Sunday the 10th of April. We all gathered in the house in Bloemendaal and then we went in a big bus to Maarssen near Utrecht. We were about 45 people all together. First we had champagne, from Friesland no less, called Friesling, quite unusual but very tasty. A choice of five differente delicious cakes were served, gifts to my sister Geertje were presented and we sang the Dutch Birthday Song to her: Lang zal ze leven in de gloria, hiep hiep hiep hoera! We were together to celebrate her 65th birthday which was on March 29. In the bus the atmosphere was jubilant and joyuous. In Maarssen we went aboard a special long boat to continue our trip over the river De Vecht. It was so lovely, drinks and exquisite hors d'oeuvres were served and then we moored to visit the Castle Zuylen. We hade a tour in four different groups and that was fabulous. Later on we all boared again and were treated to a delicious buffet and more drinks. The atmosphere was high and the sun shone brightly. Back in Maarssen we got onto the bus to travel home to Bloemendaal. What a fantastic day it was! Thursday, April 7, 2016 Published in the Spring 1996 Issue of The Pegasus Review, Henderson, Maryland, USA copyright Stella Jansen The All Days are like beads, strung together by the nightly thread into one long chain which spans the earth a thousand times. But the chain has become too heavy now, cracking, the earth breaks loose. And time will stand still when the truth comes to Light about the meaning and purpose of the All. Woensdag, 6 april 2016 Vandaag gaat er gestemd worden over het Associatie Verdrag met Oekraïene. Ik ben er op tegen. Maar goed, wat anders, een uitgeverij in Soest heeft belangstelling getoond voor een manuscript wat ik ze gestuurd heb, een roman. Oh jee...Wie weet leidt dit tot publicatie? I hope so! Dat zou toch wel erg leuk zijn maar ik durf het bijna niet te hopen. Fingers crossed! Tuesday, April 5, 2016 The Eternal Question copyright Stella Jansen What delight the soul that exists merely to be. What everlasting happiness never to wonder why what is this and why me? What happiness a child’s voice, singing a song you once sang when yourself still young, unencumbered, not yet trampled, cast down by the worldly, the mighty, the strong. So wrong. But, soul, not for this world, in tears, perpetually throwing questions up to stars and sky Oh what blessing simply to exist never wondering why? Monday, April 4, 2016 It is nice to find out that the article I wrote about Fractals for Niume has gained gold status: https://niume.com/pages/profile/?userID=22691 Check it out and make the most of this Monday! Sunday, April 3, 2016 Reverberation copyright Stella Jansen Try as you may you’ll never figure them out. Better to take up the candle and have a walkabout in the garden of your being though the path may appear to be perilous, narrow and steep all it takes is adaptation to let go and jump into the deep. Published in Another Small Magazine, 1997, Andrew Mountain Press, Hartford, Conn., USA Donderdag, 31 maart 2016 Na vandaag nog 13 dagen te gaan wat betreft de bestraling in het Antonie van Leeuwenhoek Ziekenhuis. Ik begin het wel te merken nu zo langzamerhand en de vermoeidheid begint ook op te spelen maar goed...de laatste loodjes wegen altijd het zwaarst en ik kom er wel door heen. Gelukkig is het weer aan het verbeteren, eindelijk, not a moment too soon! I was starting to get depressed from all that rain and grey skies and cold weather every goddamn day! In the weekend I am going to fix up my balcony, buy a couple of new plants...all is well! Wednesday, March 31, 2016 Symphony By Lee Bridges (31/05/1927-17/02/2005) Did you ever hear The saxman playing along with the Trumpetman in unison while the Pianoman is caressing ivories Blending in with the baseman and The drummerman and all that Rhythm Real classic All that jazz Like painters and poets and Laughter and fried chicken and A blue note From the book Oh Amsterdammers! Oh Amsterdammers! : ISBN: 90-9009817-8, World Copyright, 1996 Lee Bridges. Also published in The Black Scholar, Volume 19, Nos.4 & 5, 1988, Oakland California Tuesday, March 29, 2016, Happy Birthday to my sister Geertje who is celebrating her 65th! Hoera! Popocatépetl, the vulcano near Mexico-City is active again, beautiful to see but still... a bit scary as well. Ah, Mexico Magico! I wish I was there again but perhaps soon...I certainly hope so. Fingers crossed! Wishing everyone a blissful day! Maandag, Tweede Paasdag, 28 maart 2016 Why Not copyright: Stella Jansen Should I venture to dream again of love coming true? A glance, a flicker of recognition colliding with mocking warnings You’ll rue the day When has that bromide rung true for you? And yet; dare I imagine passion to flow once more, coming out of hiding in sorrow? It’s all been said and done before. ~ Zondag, Eerste Paasdag, 27 Maart 2016 Jemineetje, ik dacht Wat? Is het nu al 12 uur geweest? Blijkt dat we vannacht naar de zomertijd zijn overgegaan. Tja... Fijne Paasdagen! Happy Easter! Feliz Semana Santa! Was erg gezellig gister, ik ben weer heel erg goed geholpen en blij! March 27, 2016 Als de lente komt dan stuur ik jou tulpen uit Amsterdam... What a wonderful sunny day, yeah! I feel good like I know I should! Nice things are happening suddenly, it's a blast and I will talk about it more later on! Cheerio! March 24, 2016 Today Johan Cruijff died, 68 years old, may he rest in peace. Johan Cruijff, a soccer legend, one of the greatest soccer players the world has ever known. He is gone. Johan Cruijff is niet meer, Zo droevig, zo triest. I remember when I lived in New York and taxi drivers sometimes asked me where I was from and I answered: ''I am from Amsterdam, Holland.'' They would laugh and immediately start talking about Johan Cruijff. The same thing happened where ever in the world I traveled, be it Mexico, Aghanistan, Turkey, Iran, all over the place. Johan Cruijff was famous worldwide. His fame will live on into infinity! Johan Cruijff forever! March 23, 2016 It is so horrible! Terrorists blew themselves up and took many innocent people with them in the Airport and in the Metro in Brussels yesterday. I am appaled! So sad, so awful! Many wounded, more than 200 people and 34 people lost their lives. My condolences to all the people who were affected through this heineous crime. Please, God, please let all this senseless killing and crime stop! March 20, 2016 So much has happened, where to start? My beloved aunt Geertje has passed away on March 1st and I miss her so much. She was very close to me and my sisters also because she lived with us when we were young in Deventer where she met Jan, her husband who is a widower now. It is all so sad. Alas, such is life, we just have to accept it. Meanwhile I am in the middle of the process of radiation in the Antonie van Leeuwenhoek Clinic here in Amsterdam. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in the latter part of January, a tremendous shock, however, all is well. As it so happens I have a very rare form of breast cancer that only occurs in 3% of women and it is very curable. I had the breast saving operation on February 12 and now I have to undergo radiation treatment, 21 times to be specific. Thank God, I am fine! Sunday, January 24, 2016 'A look a glance a smile and then copyright 1985 Stella Jansen the music's got me dancing on the floor you are divine and now you're mine what else could I be asking for The stars above know we're hitting it off and that's just fine with me I know I know I am aglow and no one can take this happines from me You knock me over like a four leaf clover you're so romantic with me I feel so pretty Yes even witty You bring out the very very very best in me' These are the first lines of my song You Knock Me Over which I wrote in 1985, secure and blissfully happy in my marriage with the father of my children. I sang it many times and always with fond memories flooding in. He used to flip me over when we danced and I loved that. Of course I was just a slip of a girl back then and we were young and carefree. Later we moved to Ibiza and our two sons were born in Barcelona. Gosh, how the years fly by! Wishing you a happy and peaceful Sunday and a very good new week! Friday, December 18, 2015 I hope that the war in Syria ends, the sooner the better and I wish for all people all over the planet to be healthy, happy, sane and forgiving. Let there be peace on earth at last! Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a very Happy New Year! December 5, 2015 Pero Te Extraño lyrics & nusic by Armando Manzanero ' Te extraño Como se extrañan las noches sin estrellas Como se extrañan las mañanas bellas No estar contigo, por dios que me hace daño Te extraño Cuando camino, cuado lloro, cuando rio Cuando el sol brilla, cuando hace mucho frio Porque te siento como algo muy mio ' While the wind is howling like a very lonesome wolf around my house I feel the loneliness in my heart because I miss my sweetheart so much it hurts. This heartbreakingly beautiful song touches me deeply. Andrea Bocelli sings it and brings tears to my eyes each time. Still, one mustn't dwell on sad feelings too long, there is always light at the end of the tunnel they say and...so it is! Good weekend to everyone! ~ November 27, 2015 Jeetje, wat een gedoe zeg! De hele morgen geen telefoon en internet verbinding, wat een toestand! Maar gelukkig na lang dit en dat doen samen met Thomas van de Helpdesk van Ziggo....Alles doet het weer, hoera! November 16, 2015 Massive terrorist attacks in Paris last Friday evening...horrible, more than 129 dead and more than 300 wounded. IS has taken responsibility for these coward disgusting attacks. Paris, the city of Light, Freedom and Love will always remain the city of Light, Freedom and Love! It is a sad mad world, too much hatred, too much horror, it makes you sick. Those evil bastards are trying to scare us, divide us, drive us insane but they won't succeed, no they will not succeed! All we need is LOVE! November 11, 2015 Flying High By Lee Bridges (1927-2005) Darkening brows decry The wonders of light while Moments held dear become Immersed in fear although Increasing mass-media hype Certainly makes it quite Clear every future is Bright unless you're flying Way up too high and acting All uptight Tuesday, November 3, 2015 Wat hebben we de laatste tijd heerlijk zacht weer voor de tijd van het jaar, genieten geblazen. De bladeren zijn oranje, geel en rood gekleurd maar vallen nu steeds sneller van de bomen. Binnenkort zullen de bomen kaal zijn zoals dat gaat in de herfst jaar na jaar. Alles gaat voorbij, het kan niet anders maar soms zou je willen dat je de tijd even stil zou kunnen zetten, heel eventjes maar.... Friday, October 16, 2015 'Love is in the air, birds are singing here and everywhere, all is well inside my cozy home and I'll never be alone' My song Love Is In The Air, (one of my favorites, not recorded unfortunately) is on my mind right now. Feeling so content for no particular reason at all but... it is always best to go with the flow, right? Happy happy happy! Yeah! Cheerio! Wednesday, October 7, 2015, My vacation in Mexico with my darling Roger was wonderful! I miss him terribly but...we will see each other again, soon I hope. All is well with me and my adored sons. I can't complain and I won't! 'Tanto tiempo disfrutamos de este amor', this is the first line of the lovely Mexican song Sabor A Mi. I sang it on stage many times and each time with so much pleasure. Love to all! Sunday, August 9, 2015 Een citaat van Christiaan Weijts: 'Schrijven over dingen die genant zijn, levert vaak goede literatuur op.' Blozend copyright: Stella Jansen, 2003 Ik zie m'n borsten, kijkend naar beneden, mijn mooie, zachte, blanke borsten en even ben ik weer de zogende moeder van mijn twee zoontjes, heel even maar, 't is al lang geleden en zo vol en blozend zijn ze nu niet meer. Ik laat m'n handen ze optillen, mijn mooie blanke borsten, 't voelt fijn. Soms is geluk zo dichtbij en klein en fijn. Saturday, August 1, 2015 Wonderful, lovely sunny warm summer weather! About time too, we had a week and half with nothing but rain, far too cold also. My son Owen is returning I think tomorrow evening from vacation, can't wait to hug him. My other son, Justin, is off to Ibiza in a week and half to visit his father and enjoy his holiday there for 2 weeks. And I am going to see my sweetheart soon, yeah! God bless you! Tuesday, June 23, 2015 Another day in paradise...Les enfants du paradis, dat zei Jack Kröner altijd over Lee en mij. Het is nog steeds veel te koud voor de tijd van het jaar, brr, 16 graden maar. Nou ja, c'est la vie! Au revoir! Sunday, June 7, 2015 Today I give you a song I wrote in 1980, to bring solace, to myself and to you, dear reader: Alkmaar, 27 september 1980 Driekwartsmaat copyright Stella Jansen The Road Never Ends Far I’ve traveled and much I have seen Countries so barren and countries so green People heroic and people so meek People strong, others just weak I had my home in cities, I had my home on the land Sometimes I was lonely and sometimes I had friends To share my feelings with, and, Now I can say that no matter where you go How far you may travel, the beauty you will know You learn so much from it, and, People are people, we are all so the same With our goodness, our evil, our hatred, our pain It makes you understand that No matter what they tell you, no matter what you hear The truth you must seek and find yourself without fear Go, search in your self All is known within your self Long is the journey, the road never ends ~ Friday, June 5, 2015 This evening I am invited to have dinner with my sister and some friends and afterwards we are going to see the musical Dreamgirls in the New De La Mar Theatre near the Leidseplein. I am excited about it. Today it is steaming hot in Amsterdam...pfft, thunder and lightning is expected later on. Cheerio! June 3, 2015 Today I give you a poem of my late husband, the American poet Lee Bridges: Symphony By Lee Bridges Did you ever hear The saxman playing along with the Trumpetman in unison while the Pianoman is caressing ivories Blending in with the baseman and The drummerman and all that Rhythm Real classic All that jazz Like painters and poets and Laughter and fried chicken and A blue note June 2, 2015 Pajaros Muertos by Stella Jansen Un dia el me paraba en la calle, me decía: '¿Puedo ofrecerte un cafecito?', dandome su mejor sonrisa. Vi su cara y algo muy suave y angelical en sus ojos profundos. Yo respondía: 'Prefiero una margarita.' Bebimos y platicamos, es decir, yo hablaba y el me escuchaba, por horas, con gran atención y una luz clara en sus ojos profundos. Despues un tiempo en que no podriamos estar juntos, el venía y en sus manos me ofrecía un pajaro muerto. Yo gritaba: 'Hombre! ¿Por que me traes este pajaro muerto?' El sonría, un poco triste y no decía nada. El tiempo pasó y un dia el regresaba y otra vez me ofrecía un pajaro muerto. Yo gritaba todavía mas: '¿Por que me das este pajaro muerto?' El sonría con sombras en sus ojos profundos. El tiempo pasó y cada año me ofrecía un pajaro muerto, hasta, que yo tenía mi armario lleno de pajaros muertos. Despues ocho años y muchos pajaros muertos en mi armario el ya no me buscaba. Nunca le vi, ni recibí una palabra de el. Lloraba porque le gustaba mucho, enamorandome cada dia mas con el, y olvidando los pajaros muertos en mi armario. Cuando mi pelo era blanco y mis huesos frios pensaba en este hombre a quien amaba por tantos años y me preguntaba: '¿donde fue y para que me abanonaba tan de repente?' La puerta de mi armario se abría y miles pajaros volaban, saliendo por la ventana abierta y de repente mi amor de tantos años entraba en mi casa, gris y viejito pero sonriendo y con una luz muy clara en sus ojos profundos. Sin hablar me abrazaba y besaba mi boca, tremblando me decía: 'Asi lo dejamos.' May 30, 2015 Fortitude in Kindness Copyright Stella Jansen But all life is a toss of the coin there but for the grace of God I’m dead and gone or, when things seem to be going my way I’m allowed a little leeway, running wild, without a care in the world, free in body and in soul, the Love Light child. Though soon enough the fence is slapped down, all exits closed, the noose around my neck and down on my knees I go. It’s a madhouse this life I know but...all life is a toss of the coin whether I’ll grasp the point and in merriment, peace and bliss, I’ll just continue on with a light heart, a clear mind and a gentle touch, fortitude in kindness. ~ Donderdag, 28 mei, 2015 Vandaag ben ik jarig, hoera! 66 Jaar geleden liep mijn lieve vader zenuwwachtig heen en weer terwijl mijn lieve moeder met veel gesteun en pijn mij, een mollige baby, ter wereld probeerde te brengen. Na vele uren lukte dat en werd ik geboren. Ik ben vooral dankbaar, voor alle jaren die mij al gegeven werden, voor alle liefde die ik ontving en nog iedere dag ontvangen mag, voor mijn fijne onbezorgde jeugd, voor de fantastische lieve mannen in mijn leven, voor de vader van mijn kinderen, voor mijn twee lieve zusjes en mijn zwagers, voor alle echt goede vrienden en vriendinnen en voor mijn twee lieve prachtige zoons, Owen en Justin. Ik voel mij een gezegend mens. Thank you, Lord, for all your blessings! ~ Woensdag, 27 mei, 2015 Alles gaat voorbij, alles, het mooie, het nare, het minder mooie en het onvergetelijke. De tijd vervaagt uiteindelijk alles. Tuesday, May 26, 2015 Herkenning copyright Stella Jansen, March 8, 2015 Dat ik je zag met je lieve lach dat ik je mag en gelukkig ben op deze mooie lentedag nu ik je ken en de warmte voel in je stem en zonder gene denken mag en kan wat houd ik toch van deze leuke man Wednesday, May 20, 2015 The Eurovision Songfestival is a joke, it is awful especially since singing out of tune is no obstacle to win! Please, people who are in charge, make some changes, it s very much needed! First of all bring back the orchestra and the conductor! Rule of thumb must be that the people who are contestants are real singers, not complete idiots who sing totally out of key! I hope that Australia wins this year, their singer is fabulous and the song the best song ever in the Eurovision Songfestival! Cheerio! Tuesday, May 19, 2015 Today it is time to give you my poem Reverberation: Try as you may you'll never figure them out better to take up the candle and have a walkabout in the garden of your being though the path may appear to be narrow, perilous and steep all it takes is adaptation to let go and jump into the deep. Copyright Stella Jansen Have a nice day, folks! Saturday, May 16, 2015 It is so wonderful! The renovation of my apartment is finally done, well, almost, the workmen still have to paint the floor of the balcony and put an anti-slip coating on it but they will get 'round to that within the next three weeks. But inside everything is ready and...lovely! My two sons, Owen and Justin, have been incredible, they did so much work for me and I am extremely thankful. God is good and I am so blessed! Life is indeed beautiful! ~ In 1613 Galileo Galilei published a description of sunspots entitled Letters on sunspots. Chinese scientists already spoke of sunspots 2000 years ago but Galilei used the Dutch Viewer, a rather ingenius telescope of Dutch origin. Later on it was established that sunspots come and go with an interval of 11 years, accurate like clockwork. In 2007 we had a socalled minimum of sunspots and that has remained the same up until now. There's no increase which before now always happened. So...it could be that we will have, like in the second half of the seventeenth century, a so-called 'little ice time'. That means colder and longer winters and possibily other hardships. Interesting, isn't it? ~ May 3, 2015 Today, Sunday, was the birthday of my dear friend Hilde Holzheimer, sadly she passed away in the summer of 2008, I will never forget her. More sad news reached me last week when I learned that my close friend Bobbie Kingsley died. I am still in shock, had no idea...I still don't know what happened to her. Her sister Cynthia put the message on Bobbie's Facebook page and later she posted another message that friends who want to get in touch with her should mail her and that she will mail back. However, Bobbie had a ton of friends and I have no idea when Cynthia gets around to mailing me. Soon I hope. Bobbie and I knew each other well when we both lived in Manhattan. We used to go to jazz clubs together and once we met with Sarah Vaughan in her dressing room in Lincoln Center. Bobbie was a very accomplished photographer/graphic artist. She did some outstanding pictures of me as well. I am so upset about her sudden death. She will always be remembered fondly by me. May she rest in peace. You can find her work on the internet: Bobbie Kingsley. Be well, have a wonderful Sunday! May 1, 2015 The renovation is almost done, they still have to paint and put an anti-slip coating on the balcony and they will put marmoleum in my hallway next week. Meanwhile my two sons have done a lot of work and I painted the ceiling of Justin's former bedroom and one wall. I am sitting here now, this is going to be my study/music room/ boudoir. Everything is so splendid! It was a long time coming and now it is done. I also fell in love and out of love again, haha... I am feeling happy about my renovated apartment. Cheers! January 26, 2015 Oh my God, so much work to do and I am already exhausted. The apartment complex where I live is up for a major renovation, starting February 23rd. I am up to my eyebrows in cleaning up, throwing away, filling boxes and so on and so forth. I comfort myself with the thought that my apartment will be so much better when all the work is done. Meanwhile....back to the grindstone, Rusty! With love to all, Stella Januari 13, 2015 The terrible terrorist attacks in Paris last week have horrified me. In three days seventeen innocent people were killed. The March this Sunday in Paris and in many cities in France as well as in major cities all over the world show that we stand united in our resolve that never fear shall paralyze us. Freedom of speech is a human right. We mourn the cartoonists and writers of the satyrical weekly Charlie Hebdo as well as the people that were killed in the Jewish grocery store. Je suis Charlie! Long live the freedom of speech! December 30, 2014 Another year almost gone and over with. What did it bring us? For me personally this has been a good year, some disappointments yes but on the other hand also so much to be grateful for and I am. The world at large is in a lot of pain, wars and calamities, tragedies, loss of life...crisis here and there and everywhere.... Lord, when will they ever learn? Stop fighting, you fools! Make love, not war! The ebola epidemic is still not under control, more than 8000 people have died already. I do hope that soon a reverse line will set in, that the ebola crisis can be stopped. And I hope that the war in Syria stops and that the problems between Palestinians and Israeli's come to a peaceful solution. I also hope that the war in Oekraine will stop. I hope our planet Earth will flourish, I hope that people are coming together instead of falling out. I hope for a very good 2015! May you who read these lines have a great new year! Love for all! October 22, 2014 'There are so many things wrong in this world, it has got to change, we can't stand for it any longer, it has got to change poverty, desolation, whole nations locked in chains, now we all stand up and in the name of peace and dignity we proclaim: War is over...' This is the first part of a song of mine that I wrote many years ago and although many good things are happening in the world there's also a lot of misery going on. It is very worrying that the ebola crisis in West African countries is still not under control, far from it in fact. I hope there weill be a change soon and that ebola can be eradicated. October 12,2014 This past Friday I got a call from a producer of the television program of AT5 called De Straten van Amsterdam. He asked me if I would come that afternoon to sing a song in the program. A nice surprise and of course I went there. I sang Je Voudrais Tant Que Tu Comprennes, That program can be watched on www.AT5.nl. Feeling a bit lonely today but thank God I have great music to listen to like f.i. Sandunga by the fabulous Mexican singer Lila Downs. Enjoy the day, folks! August 13,2014 So many things wrong in this world it has got to change We can't stand for it any longer, it has got to change, violence, poverty, whole nations locked in change... This is the first part of a song I wrote quite some years ago. War is going on all around us, it is a crying shame. It is all too sad. Still, each day gives a chance to change and make good what was bad, I hope people will stop fighting and come together instead. Make love, not war! July 14, 2014 La quartorze Julliet feesten zijn in volle gang in Frankrijk denk ik. Vive la Liberté! En...gister heeft Duitsland de Wereldbeker Voetbal 2014 gewonnen. De wedstrijd ging tegen Argentinië en werd beslist in de 113de minuut door Mario Götze die een prachtig doelpunt maakte. Nederland verloor van Argentinië in de Halve Finale, helaas pindakaas, erg jammer want de Oranje boys hebben erg mooi gespeeld maar ja, bij het penalty schieten hield onze keeper,Cilessen er geen bal uit en Snijder en Vlaar schoten naast...botte pech, heel erg jammer maar Nederland heeft tegen Brazilië gewonnen om de derde plaats dus nog een klein beetje troost daardoor. Het was een schitterend WK en ik heb zo genoten, hele mooie wedstrijden, unieke en prachtige goals, mooi spel...ja, het was al met al zeer de moeite waard. Duitsland is de terechte winnaar. Die Mannschaft hat es gemacht! Yes! July 5, 2014 The World Soccer Championship in Brasil is in full swing. Holland made it to the Quarter Finals, they have to play against Costa Rica today. Germany already made the Half Finals, so did Brasil. The FIFA professess fair play every chance they get but fair play is hardly in evidence, it is terrible at times and you wonder.... My favorite player is the young man from Costa Rica, James Rodriguez (22 yrs), he scored 6 times in the games! Anyway, may the best team win. Of course I do hope that Holland wins the Final but first we have to beat the Costa Rica team to make it to the Half Finals. Belgium plays against Argentina today and I hope they win. That would be something, eh? Belgium and Holland against each other in the Half Final. If God is on our side (if He exists at all) it really would be a blast if we have to play the Germans in the Final. And win the World Cup naturally! If Holland wins the World Soccer Championship Cup 2014 against Germany we will finally be able to overcome the trauma of 1974. Time will tell, a person needs a little luck in life or, as my grandmother used to say: 'Zonder geluk vaart niemand wel.' June 17, 2014 The World Soccer Championship 2014 is taking place in Brasil! I am enjoying it tremendously as do Owen and Justin, family members and friends. Holland won its first game from Spain with 5 to 1! It was a big surprise to all of us. Today they are having their second game against the Australians, I hope of course that the Oranje boys will win. Fingers crossed! Wishing all countries and their World Soccer teams fair play and good fun! Love to all! April 21, 2014 We are all very sad because my sons, Owen and Justin's grandfather died. He passedaway on April 14, 93 years of age. He was such a wonderful man, warm, kind, great sense of humor, we all loved him so much. Rest in peace, dear daddy Gene. My father-in-law was always nice to me and a fantastic grandpa for Owen and Justin. We will miss him. March 9, 2014, What a glorious day it is! Sunshine galore! I am happy and contented, all is well and cheery! Yeah! All good things come to the ones who believe in it...I think. Much love to all! March 31, 2014 De ongelijkheid tussen mensen wordt steeds groter, steeds meer mensen zakken in de armoede, hier in Nederland maar ook in de rest van Europa en de wereld. Mensen zien het nut van stemmen op een politieke partij niet meer in, het vertrouwen in politici is tot een dieptepunt gedaald. Fundamentalisten winnen terrein in heel Europa, een nare ontwikkeling. De economie verslechtert door de ongelijkheid tussen arm en rijk. Gelukkig zien steeds meer mensen in dat verandering hard nodig is, nu de politiek nog! March 26, 2014 Obama has left the country, yesterday he said goodbye to Holland and flew in his Air Force One to Brussels. He is also going to visit the Pope in Rome. It was great having President Barack Obama in the country, he is such a charismatic and very handsome man, I just love him! Goodbye Obama, see you again sometime! March 25, 2014 Today is the birthday of my dear friend Teja, many happy returns. In The Hague 53 worldleaders are gathered for the International Nucleair Summit. It was quite something to see yesterday: the arrival of President Barack Obama! Wow! He arrived with the Air Force One at Schiphol and then 7 or 8 helicopters, in one of them the President, flew to the Museumplein in Amsterdam where he then was transported in what they call 'the beast', a custom made limousine, the 100 meters to the Rijksmuseum where he was met with the MP of Holland, the mayor of Amsterdam and the director of the museum. The sight of all those helicopters flying over Amsterdam was awesome, it reminded me (and many people I think) of the scene in Apocolypse Now, the movie. Obama is awesome, what a man, what a president! They're still in The World Forum in The Hague today, this afternoon Mark Rutte, our MP, will close the conference. March 22, 2014 Today I give you my poem: Melancholy Baby Being in your arms, I'd never want to go. How long can this last? Who knows? Tomorrow you'll be flying, tomorrow I'll be crying and today, in the scent of your embrace, part of me is dying. Published in Lover's Lane by Golden Apple Press Publications, Special Edition, Volume 4, Number 2, Champaign, Illinois, USA ISBN # 1-889463-48-5 March 17, 2014 Another day in Paradise! I wish things wouldn't be so hard and complicated. I feel tired just by thinking about what's lying ahead of me. Moving house...is there anything more traumatic? I don't know how I am going to be able to cope, then again I have moved house before...Yes, and it was awful until all was settled and then I was happy and loved my new place. Oh, well, such is life, one thing after another, isn't it? For the moment I mustn't even think about it, do not fret about things that lie ahead! Love to all! March 11, 2014 It would be so nice if I could find a publisher for my manuscript, it's my autobiography. I also would like to publish a poetry volume. Many of my poems were already published before in Literary Magazines in the USA, England and Canada. I am currently working on a novel, fiction, in Dutch so for that I will look for a Dutch publisher or...perhaps I have to look for a company where I can accomplish things by self-publishing. Anyway, if anyone out there can help me with this I would be so happy. A sunny day to everyone who reads this. March 8th, 2014 The Road Never Ends Far I've traveled and much I've seen countries so barren countries so green people heroic people so meek people strong others just weak I had my home in cities I had my home on the land sometimes I was lonely and sometimes I had friends This is part of my song The Road Never Ends, it's a track on my LP Going Places, released October 1983. You can probably still find it in Rizzoli's on Madison Avenue in Manhattan and in Libraries across the USA. I hope peace will prevail, wars do no good nowhere. Wishing everybody a good life! March 4, 2014 It is quite a situation there on the Krim where Russian soldiers have occupied the area. I hope leaders of countries come to their senses and that bloodshed is avoided. Peace on Earth for all! February 27, 2914 'All around me I feel beset I'd like to be strong, plucky but it's quite a bit to ask' The first three lines of my poem Bamboozled I give you this morning. I have a bit of a headache and I feel a bit lonely but...I will pull myself together and get to work on my novel. That will cheer me up for sure! February 24, 2014 The 22nd Winter Olympic Games in Sochi, Rusia, 2014 were a big success. I enjoyed it tremendously. The Dutch team is coming home with 24 medals! Never before did the atletes accomplish gaining so many medals in Olympic Games. Bravo! It was a joy to watch all the sports and the atletes from all over the world. It was indeed wonderful! Thank you, Sochi! February 18, 2014 De Olympische Spelen zijn aan de gang in Sotsji, Rusland en Nederland heeft al 18 medailles! Wow! Vanmiddag de 10 km met Sven Kramer en Jorit Bergsma. Fantastisch! December 31, 2013 Dear Visitor, I wish you a blessed 2014! December 6, 2013 Yesterday, December 5, Nelson Mandela died, 95 years old. A great man hasgone, an inspiration to all humanity! He will be missed but his legacy will never die. Nelson Mandela forever! I love Madiba, he is my all time hero! 8 november 2013 Heerlijk al die mooie liedjes uit vervlogen jaren, Radio 5 Nostalgia, ik geniet! September 19, 2013 Today is the 25th birthday of my beloved son Justin, yeah! Happy Birthday, my darling Justin. De dag van zijn geboorte staat voor altijd diep inmijn geheugen gegrift! Zijn vader en broertje Owen en ik waren dolgelukkig met Justin's komst. Lang zal hij leven in de gloria! September 10, 2013 I give you today a poem written by my beloved ex-husband Lee Bridges (31/05/1927-17/02/2005) EXACTLY, MAN He knew, alright, exactly what The folks thought of him... ...the butcher man, the cigarette Man, the old woman at the newstand The liquor store man, the bookie Man, and the madam who ran the good Time house... ...yeah, he knew, alright, exactly What they, and all the others, Thought of him along the streets of His neighborhood But, what he did not know, however Was, what exactly did he think of Himself ? Published in the poetry book : OH AMSTERDAMMERS ! OH AMSTERDAMMERS ! Also published in Egorag, 14, 5417-38 Street, Red Deer, AB Canada, Autumn 1992 23 april 2013 Vandaag is m'n oudste zoon, Owen, jarig, hij is nu 27 jaar! De dag dat hij geboren werd staat voor altijd in mijn geheugen gegrift. Happy Birthday, son! 6 april 2013 Maart was kouder dan Januari, het lijkt wel of er nooit een einde komt aan deze winter...de bomen zijn nog kaal en het vriest elke nacht en overdag waait een ijzige noordoosten wind...grrr! Sprintime, I need springtime desperately! 29 december 2012, Het jaar loopt op haar laatste benen....en straks is ook 2012 verleden tijd; de tijd houdt geen schaft! Wat zal het nieuwe jaar ons brengen? Gelukkig weten we dat niet maar ik hoop natuurlijk dat mijn kinderen, ik zelf, hun vader,mijn zusjes, m'n zwagers, mijn geliefde en vrienden en alle andere familieleden gezond blijven en gelukkig! Here's to 2013! Health, Love & Happiness I wish for all! November 7, 2012 President Barack Obama has been re-elected as President of the United States of America! I am so glad! Congratulations Mister President! Congratulations to the American people! Long live Democracy! November 5, 2012 Hereunder one of my poems: The Eternal Question What delight the soul that exists merely to be What everlasting happiness never to wonder why what is this and why me What happiness a child’s voice, singing a song you once sang when yourself still young unencumbered, not yet trampled, cast down by the worldly, the mighty, the strong So wrong but, soul, not for this world, in tears, perpetually throwing questions up to stars and sky Oh, what blessing simply to exist never wondering why. * Here a short story of mine: Tranen Die Niet Vallen Door Stella Jansen Maar ik praat toch tegen jullie! Waarom luisteren ze niet? Ze staan om zijn bed, vier mannen en twee vrouwen, ze kijken naar hem met ernstige bezorgde gezichten en hij heeft geen idee. Wat is er gebeurd? Kan iemand hem dat vertellen, alsjeblieft? Toen Maurits, Sven en Jonathan vertrokken waren ze opgewonden en vol vertrouwen; er werd gezongen, er werden grappen en grollen gemaakt, de stemming zat er goed in. ‘En wat denk je dat die lul antwoordde?’ Sven stikt bijna van het lachen waardoor zijn verhaal nauwelijks te volgen is maar juist op dat moment is Jonathans aandacht even verslapt en de clou van Svens relaas zal voor altijd in het verborgene blijven. Hij en Jonathan zijn op slag dood, Maurits wordt zwaar gewond en met loeiende sirenes afgevoerd. ‘Er is geen hersenactiviteit…dit lijkt mij een verloren zaak,’ Dokter Winters strijkt vermoeid door zijn grijze lokken. Zijn jullie gek geworden of zo? Ik ben hier! Kijk dan! Ik lach, ik praat tegen jullie! Waarom luisteren ze godverdomme niet! ‘En ik mag zeker de ouders inlichten,’ Mompelt dokter Barendse, de kleinste van het stel, geërgerd. ‘Ja, iemand moet het doen maar als je het niet aan kunt doe ik het wel.’ antwoordt dokter Winters en na nog eens met een lampje in de ogen van de patiënt geschenen te hebben, zonder resultaat, draait hij zich om en loopt met de andere dokters in zijn kielzog weg van het bed. De twee verpleegsters controleren het infuus, verschikken de kussens wat en vertrekken ook. Hij is alleen. Hij weet niets meer maar hij heeft gehoord wat ze zeiden, hij snapt wat ze bedoelen. Geen hersenactiviteit zei die ene. Hoe kan dat nou? Dit is het jaar 2011! Het kan toch niet waar zijn dat hij bij bewustzijn is en dat men dat niet merkt! Dat ze denken dat hij in coma is! Klootzakken! Wat gaan ze nu met me doen? Waarom zijn m’n ouders hier niet? Waar is iedereen? Wat is er met me gebeurd? Maurits probeert uit alle macht zich te herinneren waar hij was voor hij hier in dit ziekenhuis bed terecht kwam maar dat lukt niet. Hij weet wel wie hij is en kan zich ook van alles herinneren over zijn leven maar niet waarom hij hier is. Zijn frustratie groeit met de minuut. En de angst. Wat als ze niet ontdekken dat ze een fout hebben gemaakt? Wat als ze hem voor een plant houden? Straks trekken ze de stekkers er nog uit! Dat ze ervan uitgaan dat zijn leven nu niet meer is dan zinloos lijden! De angst grijpt hem naar de keel en het zweet breekt hem uit, dat wil zeggen, hij denkt dat het zweet hem uitbreekt maar fysiek gebeurt er niets en als hij begint te huilen rollen er geen tranen over zijn wangen. Maurits leeft en is bij bewustzijn maar niemand die het ziet. ‘Mama, mama! Kijk! Ik heb een kasteel gemaakt!’ Kleine Maurits trekt aan zijn mooie moeders arm, ze moet meekomen om zijn zandkasteel te bewonderen en dat doet ze ook. ‘Wat mooi, lieveling!’ roept ze verrukt uit en dan neemt ze hem op de arm en loopt met hem de branding in. ‘Maurits, lieve schat, ik ben bij je. Kun je me horen, lieveling?’ Ja, natuurlijk hoor ik je. Ben zeker even in slaap gevallen. Wat fijn dat pa en ma nu naast m’n bed staan. Nu komt alles goed. Zij weten wel dat ik er nog ben, ze zullen die stomme dokters wel es even…. Wat? Nee, nee, mam, niet huilen, ik weet dat jullie bij me zijn! Kijk dan! Kijk dan! Ik lach naar jullie, zien jullie dat dan niet? ‘Er is een kliniek in Luik waar men gespecialiseerd is in de behandeling van coma patiënten. Hij ligt nu vier maanden zo, zonder enige verbetering en het lijkt mij toch beter als uw zoon overgeplaatst wordt naar het ziekenhuis in Luik.’ Ah, mam, je voelt zo heerlijk zacht, kus me nog een keer, ga niet weg, blijf nou bij me! ‘Dag, lieve jongen, dag!’ Pa en ma zwaaien naar hem. ‘We komen gauw weer, hoor! Dag, dag!’ Maurits huilt bittere tranen die onzichtbaar blijven. Einde November 3, 2012 Lonely...I lead a lonely life. My best friend has passed away, my sons are all grown up and lead their own lives.... I wish I could make more of my life, I feel so forlorn....Nobody looks at me twice.... Is this then all there is? I wish I could fall in love again, I wish I could meet a nice man who makes me laugh....who takes me out....Traveling Together, that's a song I wrote a long time ago back in the days when I was a successful singer, admired, loved..... Loneliness...is this my fate now? Isn't there someone out there who could love me and who would want to enjoy life with me? ' Nothing beats a life together with someone who understands It's better, everyone needs a friend to turn to when things get out of hand He picks you up just by listening and helps you to rise again He needs you just like you need him...' etcetera etcetera....I am still a young woman, aren't I? Yes, of course... Okay, enough, I've got to pick myself up! September 19, 2012 Today is my son Justin's 24th birthday! I never forget the day he was born, my pride & joy, my one and only Justin Gregory Moss. I love you, darling and am wishing all the best for you! Happy Birthday! Kiss, kiss, kiss! August 29, 2012 The Best Marijuana Documentary (Canadian) www.youtube.com August 16, 2012, The lies of politicians and multinationals are staggering to the mind! The Olympic Games in London were fantastic! I enjoyed it tremendously and I am very proud of our Gold Medal Winners: Marianne Vos, Epke Zonderland, Ranomi Kromowidjojo, Dorian and all the other Dutch atletes! Bravo! Finally summer has come to Holland! Nice! I am in excelente spirits! July 4, 2012 THE HIGGS PARTICLE HAS BEEN FOUND! AFTER 48 YEARS OF SEARCHING! SCIENTISTS OF CERN IN GENEVA, SWITZERLAND, HAVE DISCOVERED THE HIGGS PARTICLE. THIS IS A MILESTONE! CONGRATULATION TO EVERYONE! July 2, 2012 Spain won the European Soccer Championship yesterdag against Italy with 4-0. Incredible how super fantastic the Spanish team played in this tournament! They were indeed the best! Compliments are in order for La Squadra Azurra! July 1, 2012 When I sang in the Italian/American restaurant Monsignore II on 55 street between Park Avenue and Madison, next to the Friar's Club in Manhattan, off and on in the early eighties I met Rocky Graziano and his manager Mister Goldman several times there; once he let go off a fart while standing right next to me at the bar, an embarassing and awkward moment although he acted as if nothing had happened. Wikipedia: ' Rocky Graziano, born Thomas Rocco Barbella in New York City (1 January 1919[1] – May 22, 1990), was an American boxer. Graziano was considered one of the greatest knockout artists in boxing history , often displaying the capacity to take his opponent out with a single punch. He was ranked 23rd on Ring Magazine's list of the greatest punchers of all time. Graziano's life story was the basis of the 1956 Oscar-winning drama film Somebody Up There Likes Me , based on his 1955 autobiography of the same title. The film starred Paul Newman and was directed by Robert Wise.' JANUARY 2, 2012 WISHING EVERYBODY A WONDERFUL NEW YEAR! HEALTH, HAPPINESS AND ABOVE ALL LOVE! January 18, 2012 My son Justin obtained his driving licence today, he made the exam on January 9th. I am so proud of him. 4 Maart 2012 Te diep in het glaasje gekeken gister op heel leuk feestje, voel me brak als een slak 25 mei 2012 Wat heerlijk dat we nu eindelijk echt mooi zomerweer hebben, we hebben er wel erg lang op moeten wachten maar uiteindelijk is het dan toch zomer geworden, hoera! November 30, 2011 My son Owen has succeeded and finished his thesis with good success, I am very proud of him of course. Am working on a novel; it gives me much pleasure. Life is good. October 17, 2011 I visited the Occupy Amsterdam people on the Beursplein in Amsterdam Saturday and Sunday and I must say, it's impressive. The only thing is that in my opinion they need to write a comprehensive piece in which they state precisely the wrongs and faults of the financial and political system and wherein they offer solutions that are feasible. But in any case I am glad that people, worldwide, want to stop the greed and the abuse of the super rich and corrupt politicians! Power To The People! October 15, 2011 Vanmiddag op Beursplein 5 in Amsterdam the kick-off: Occupy Amsterdam! In navolging van Occupy Wallstreet in New York; Power to the people! June 13, 2011 My poem: The Eternal Question What delight the soul that exists merely to be What everlasting happiness never to wonder why what is this and why me What happiness a child’s voice, singing a song you once sang when yourself still young unencumbered, not yet trampled, cast down by the worldly, the mighty, the strong So wrong but, soul, not for this world, in tears, perpetually throwing questions up to stars and sky Oh, what blessing simply to exist never wondering why. * May 13, 2011 'We leven in een uitzonderlijke tijd. Een uitzonderlijke tijd, die enorme problemen opwerpt en tot denken aanspoort; die kritiek, ironie en diepgang wekt; die hartstochten aanwakkert, en die, vooral, vruchtbaar, zwanger is... ' ROSA LUXEMBURG (1906) March 9, 2011 FUTURE COOPERATION song by Stella Jansen Soon we will meet each other and then find Love is the answer giving us peace of mind Understanding and believing is such a vital thing So, souls will join together and sing More and more we all will see it clear and bright This is the beginnig of the Truth, the Light Vibrations between nations, yes, every soul on earth will travel through space in the age at birth Many wars and suffering are still going on But the power of our minds is growing strong We're about to reach a higher level and see That heaven on earth was meant for you and me Though the world today is quite a mess What to do? Be openminded, let the love rays come through Universal peace will be the end result And the world will finally raise us up. March 7, 2011 I am back to my novel in progress and it feels good! March 6, 2011 What a lovely sunny Sunday it is and my son Owen visiting, what could be bad? I feel great, centered and happy! February 26, 2011 This afternoon my son Justin and I are going to see the movie The King's Speech, looking forward to it. February 22, 2011 What a fucked up rotten world it is! That idiot mad dog in Libia who is killing his own people. Why doesn't the international community come to the rescue of those poor people there? And an earthquake in New Zealand...oh my God! February 18, 2011 LOGS ON THE FIRE LOVE IS IN THE AIR BIRDS ARE SINGING HERE AND EVERYWHERE ALL IS WELL INSIDE MY COZY HOME AND I'LL NEVER BE ALONE FOR YOU CAME IN MY LIFE LOVE WAS REAL AND I BECAME YOUR WIFE ALL MY DREAMS AND HOPES I SHARE WITH YOU THERE ARE NO MORE FEARS OUR LOVE IS TRUE This is part of one my songs that I love singing so much. Too bad it's such a grey cloudy day...I long for springtime February 14, 2011 Jeugdherinneringen Als ik m'n ogen dichtdoe en m'n gedachten ver laat dwalen dan zie ik weer ons huis aan de rivier We woonden in een klein mooi stadje dichtbij een heel groot bos waar alle kinderen speelden met elkaar Ik had niet veel vriendinnen en trok er vaak alleen op uit Ik nam m'n dagboek dan mee onder de arm en ik zocht naar bramen en besjes en plukte bloemen en zong versjes en nam de bloemen mee voor m'n mam En dan was er een kleine jongen waar ik vaak op passen mocht hij was een jaar of drie en ik was al tien Waar ik ook ging hij was altijd bij me en ik was zo dol op hem maar dat is al weer lang geleden M'n eerste vriendje had ik er, m'n eerste kusje kreeg ik er als mama ons al lang in huis geroepen had en dan met gloeiende wangen de hele nacht maar denken en dromen van die knappe vent Maar de jaren gingen heen en die tijd is lang vervlogen Ik ben nog wel es naar m'n mooie stadje geweest en er is wel veel veranderd maar ons huis dat staat er nog in m'n mooie stad aan de rivier. February 11, 2011 Congratulations people of Egypt! You've done it! Bravo people of Egypt! I am so happy for you, you fought long and hard and your strength prevailed! Bravo! February 2, 2011 Power to the people of Egypt! I hope that they will succeed and start a new life with civil rights, liberty and democracy. January 5, 2011 The holidays I spent with my two sons Owen and Justin and it was fun. Now it's back to the grindstone.... I feel good and full of enthusiasm to work on new projects. 2011 here I come! January 19, 2011 It's a total disgrace what happens to children in my country; a boy of eighteen is living tied to the wall of an institution for the past three years! I am so angry, how dare these people there call themselves helpers of children in need? Something has got to be done about this, it has got to stop immediately! PRETTIGE FEESTDAGEN EN GELUKKIG NIEUWJAAR! HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! FELIZ NAVIDAD Y FELIZ AÑO NUEVO! 18 DECEMBER 2010 Prachtig die witte sneeuwdeken over alles, de stilte, wonderschoon is het. November 14, 2010 The Lady, Nobel Prize Winner of Peace, has been set free. That's good news but more needs to be done, change is necessary to bring peace and democracy to Birma. Long live freedom! November 6, 2010 Een klein stukje uit mijn gedicht: PAJAROS MUERTOS by Stella Jansen Un dia el me paraba en la calle, me decía: '¿Puedo ofrecerte un cafecito?', dandome su mejor sonrisa. Vi su cara y algo muy suave y angelical en sus ojos profundos. Yo respondía: 'Prefiero una margarita.' October 31, 2010 Halloween! Gisteravond is de schrijver Harry Mulish overleden, 83 jaar oud. Ik heb een aantal boeken van hem gelezen, De Overval vond ik steengoed en De Ontdekking Van De Hemel vond ik ook erg mooi. Vroeger, lang geleden, kwam ik hem wel es tegen in Café Eylders, de zeventiger jaren was dat. Een uiterst charmante man. October 28, 2010 Les Feuilles Mortes C'est une chanson qui nous resemble Toi tu m'aimais, et je t'aimais et nous vivions tous deux ensemble toi qui m'amais, moi qui t'amais Mais la vie se pare ceux qui s'aiment tout doucement sans faire de bruit el la mer efface sur le sable les pas des amants désunis October 23, 2010 It seems to me that people are turning to populists to solve the many problems of modern society and it's a dangerous development in my opinion. Here in Holland we have a new minority government with support of the PVV of Geert Wilders; it doesn't look promising but rather shortsighted. I hope that the opposition parties put up a shared vision to combat and counter the evil plans the new government has anounced. Hope is the only thing we have left now. October 21, 2010 Nothing beats a life together with someone who understands it's better, every one needs a friend to turn to when things get out of hand He picks you up just by listening and helps you to rise again He needs you just like you need him to hang on and do what has to be done. These lines are the beginning of my song Traveling Together written in the early seventies of the past century. I will sing it for you anytime, it'll be my pleasure. October 20, 2010 ` Tranen Om Mexico Als je hard loopt, rokken hoog opgetild, door straten met wit kolkend water en de arm van je kerel stevig om je heen, waarom zou je dan denken aan later? October 15, 2010 De kogel is door de kerk, het Kabinet Rutte/Verhagen is een feit en dan zeg ik maar weer tegen mezelf: Time will tell. October 12, 2010 The release of my new cd ALL OF ME is close at hand, I can barely wait! I am also working on a novel that, with a bit of luck, will be ready in the Spring of 2011. Weather is rather nice these days, that helps. October 11, 2010 Symetry And Blues my song Happiness is but a moment in life It's not to be measured in time and space But to behold I'll treasure within my soul the words you spoke after the moment was old Wild, as the animals that run free in the breeze Beautiful, as the fruits that grow on the trees Sweet, as the flowers that grow on the land Loving, as the bodies as they roll in the sand You are as special as you can be 'Cause you are you and I am me October 10, 2010 FUTURE COOPERATION my song Soon we will meet each other and then find Love is the answer giving us peace of mind Understanding and believing is such a vital thing So, souls will join together and sing More and more we all will see it clear and bright This is the beginning of the Truth, the Light Vibrations between nations yes every soul on earth will travel through space in the age at birth Many wars and suffering are still going on but the power of our mind is growing strong we're about to reach a higher level and see that Heaven on Earth wast meant for you and me Though the world today is quite a mess what to do? Be openminded let the Love rays come through Universal Peace will be the end result And the world will finally raise us up ~ October 8, 2010 Mijn eeste liefde stierf heel plotseling op 14-jarige leeftijd. Frits Burgraeve Hij was zo'n lieve, donkere, mysterieuze, dappere, onverschrokkene, stoutmoedige, brutale, zo'n 'wat mot je van me' prachtige, sterke en toch tedere, verlegene, zachtaardige, grappige, gevaaarlijke dingen doende, grandioze, alles overtreffende, nooit gemene, altijd eerlijke, lief voor dieren en kinderen, sportieve, atletische, jolijt zoekende en makende, klieren in de klas als dat broodnodig was, zo'n knappe, op Jesse en Slim lijkende, nooit ontwijkende, straight forward kijkende, glimlachende, nooit zijn tanden poetsende ('t mos groeit op je tanden), een diepe mooie hut bouwende, omkijkende naar mij, tegen lantaarnpaal lopende, grote bult op voorhoofd, mijn enige onvergetelijke, strijdlustige, nooit bange, altijd bij mij zijnde, mijn enige unieke, mijn Indiaan, mijn grote eerste liefde. October 7, 2010 What a crazy world we live in. I give you the lyrics of my song LIFE FOR REAL Listen to the voices in the air, hear them shout Rumble, crumble, tears, fears, uncertainties and doubts Reason, treason, murder, greed, oh Lord what ignorance Crying newborns, hungry belly's dying in the swamps Life is sad, life is blue Say: Folks where do we go from here What's happening to our Earth How much do we really care What sacrifice is it worth The sun may be our closest friend our ally in distress Let's not waste our universe But try to give our best They say the times are changing Well, what about ourselves It's time for us to change with it Put our greed back on the shelf 'Cause only if we all are willing to take a human stand We all may see the Light one day And finally understand Life is good Life is free Life for all Life for real. October 6, 2010 The falling leaves drift by my window...it's that time again, summer is gone and we have to get ready for the storm but luckily I have my songs LOGS ON THE FIRE FLOWERS IN A VASE THE CLOCK IS TICKING AND I AM PEACEFUL INSIDE LIFE IS WONDERFUL DON'T WANT TO RUN ANYMORE WHY SHOULD I? WHAT FOR? October 5, 2010 Time will tell. Time waits for no one and time will reveal everything however, while time travels time stands still. It is not an easy feat to accomplish to live your life in the moment, in real time. Mundane matters won't leave you alone, they just won't give up on drawing you in and putting you down. Time is of the Essence but Love Will Save The Day! Think about this, please and rejoice! The Nobel Prize for Physics went to André Geim and Konstantin Novoselov for the discovery of the two-dimensional material graphene. Hallelujah! 1 Oktober 2010 LEVEN Een zilveren rinkelbel de schaterlach van mijn baby Heb je 't vuilnis al buiten gezet? De koeien staan hutjemutje Er hangt regen in de lucht Zomaar luieren in de zon in de hangmat op 't balkon Alles gaat voorbij, schat, weet je niet? October 1, 2010 I love Fractals, don't you? In the subway in Mexico-city you can see them at stations, so beautiful, the Mandelbrot Set. Fractal Geometry fascinates me. How do you measure a cloud? How do you measure a flower? Fractals can be spotted in practically everything: your lungs, your heart, your liver, your intestines but also in human pursuits such as music, painting, architecture and stock market prices. Benoît Mandelbrot (20-11-1924, Poland) moved to France with his family in 1938, they were Jewish people. In 1982 he wrote The Fractal Geometry Of Nature, a book that sparked widespread popular interest and contributed to chaos theory and other fields of science and mathematics. I became aware of Fractal Geometry in 1998 and totally spontaneous composed my song Love, The Fourth Dimension, the 4th track on my album Fractal Energy, released in 2002. Much to my surprise I have found that few people in my country even know about Fractals, let alone the Mandelbrot Set. Go read up on it, please, it is very important and encompasses everything. Wikipedia is a good place to start and there's an excellent BBC documentary about Fractal Geometry: Arthur C. Clarke Presents The Colours Of Infinity. I JUST LOVE FRACTALS! 4 oktobeer 2010 Gedachten Cirkels Ze trekt de Russische sjaal, vuurrood met paarse bloemen, dichter om haar schouders en haar gedachten dwalen af. Ze ziet zichzelf lopen in de straatjes van Herat, Afghanistan, harde wind die in stofwolken om haar heen buigt en aan haar trekt dan weer duwt; diezelfde Russische sjaal diep over haar lang dik bos rossige manen geknoopt, alleen haar grijsblauwe ogen onbedekt latend, zo lopend gekleed in de die enkellange wollen Perzische rok met bijbehorende bloes. Die kreeg ik van Zwi, de Roemeens-Joodse mooie man, in Teheran. Hij gaf me ook nog een prachtig boek over Iran, dat heb ik nog steeds, het staat gewoon hier in de kast. September 30, 2010 Nou, het is zover, hoor! Een volk krijgt de regering dat het verdient. Acht jaar Kabinetten met meneer Balkenende als top gun en net als je denkt erger kan het niet worden blijkt dat het toch nog erger kan Het spijt me wel maar ik zie Rutte nou niet bepaald als een staatsman. En we krijgen Wilders en zijn PVV er als gedoog kadootje bij. Daar zijn we weer mooi klaar mee maar...er gloort nog enige hoop want het CDA schijnt vreselijk verdeeld te zijn dus.. wie weet! Hoop doet leven! September 20, 2010 BELIEVE Believe me or don't. It's all up to you. To enter the promised land you first have to believe wholeheartedly and I don't mean following a guru or any one of those socalled selfhelp books. BELIEVE The word already spells it out BELIEVE In yourself and in a greater omnipotent higher force. May the Force be with you, truly, I mean it. Important to accept is, in my humble opinion, that your consciousness is part and parcel of the universal collective consciousness! Attention! Alive or dead, consciousness never perishes. "How do you know that?"I hear your questions, I see your skeptical faces. And I will say it one more time: BELIEVE No one can travel your road for you, 'Go search in yourself, all is known within yourself, long is the journey the road never ends.' It's all in my songs, my poems and my writings. LOVE, PEACE, POETRY AND MUSIC, Stella Jansen Amsterdam 22 september 2010 In 1613 Galileo Galilei published a description of sunspots entitled Letters on sunspots. Chinese scientists already spoke of sunspots 2000 years ago but Galilei used the Dutch Viewer, a rather ingenius telescope of Dutch origin. Later on it was established that sunspots come and go with an interval of 11 years, accurate like clockwork. In 2007 we had a socalled minimum of sunspots and that has remained the same up until now. There's no increase which before now always happened. So...it could be that we will have, like in the second half of the seventeenth century, a so-called 'little ice time'. That means colder and longer winters and possibily other hardships. Interesting, isn't it? In 1976 I believe it was that I wrote a song about the sun and her power to sustain us. A few lines in the song I give to you here: THE SUN MAY BE OUR CLOSEST FRIEND, OUR ALLY IN DISTRESS, LET'S NOT WASTE THE UNIVERSE BUT TRY TO DO THE BEST,' Yes, let us not waste the universe but try to do our best and that begins with thinking seriously about things and then to act upon it wisely. ~ 30-9-2010 Just saw a clip of a speech President Barack Obama gave in Madison, Wisconsin, and it truly moved me. Obama...what a leader if ever there was one and, mark my words, this man is capable of accomplishing great things that will not only benefit the people of the USA but also the world at large. En waar zitten wij hier in Nederland mee? Het CDA dat tot op het bot verdeeld schijnt over wel of niet akkoord gaan met het coalitie akkoord en het gedoog akkoord van de nieuw te vormen regering VVD-CDA-PVV. If ever there was a farce...Come see how we do it here in the Flat Lands, folks! Enfin, de soep wordt nooit zo heet gegeten als hij opgediend wordt.... Time will tell. It always does. ...............